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Updated on Saturday, November 21

#23349

OMG:

I literally feel like just killing myself. Honestly. Its just so overwhelming at times.. :( 


I used to live in Canada before. But 3 years ago my family and I moved too another country because my dad got a better job there. In those 3 years I completed my high school online and received all the credits just as a student would normally going to a high school anywhere in Canada. Then I applied for university. I got into several programs at several universities. I chose Uwaterloo, and the program I got into here mainly because of the CO-OP oppurtunity.

Then, my whole family relocated back here in Waterloo just for me. Just so that I could come back and focus solely on university and my courses and my studies. we literally moved to a place a few blocks from the uni because my parents want me to simply focus on my studies and not worry about anything else. My dad is still abroad working.

I went through a tough time in my first year, (last year) but got through it. Although the faculty put me on probation and told me to improve my averages otherwise i would be required to withdraw after this term.

Right now, in my 4 courses Im taking I need to have a 76% average. I dont know if I can do it... :( theres just so much pressure... and I dont even knwo fi this is the right field/program for me... I dont even enjoy learning about the things we do in oour program nor am i too passionate about the field..

Im scared of telling my parents now :( Im scared of how they will react after they went through so much just to put me in a position to do well and focus only on my studies... :( Im scared as to what will happen if i dont get to the 76 and am required to withdraw... :( Im scared to what im going to do with my life afttet this... :( Im scared.. :( Im only 20.. but still.. Im not getting any younger.. :( If i do have to withdraw and my parents find out... what am i going to do... :( at times I say to my self fck it, uni is not the be all end all in life... and fck it, i can go on and still apply somewhere else at another uni in a program i love and am passionate about and do well... :( but then at times I just feel like my parents will be so upset with me aftet they figure all of thsi out... :( and just dont know what to do anytmore... :( everyone else my age is going on to do well... getting oppurtunities... doing well... enjoying their fields... moving on... looking forward to good jobs... :(


I just. I just really feel like going to a far land somewhere and just not giving a shit about anything... :( I just wish there werent so much tension and stress and probelms and scares in my life rn... :( im literally hurting as i write this rn..:( 


MOD'S NOTE: OP, there is a network of people that love you and care for you, and will be there to support you. Please, please understand that. I'd like to point you to the "OMG HELP" section on the right side of the page, underneath "Lost and Found". Remember those whom you love, and who love you!

23 comments

  1. Hey OP. It may seem like you're the only one who feels this way or are going through this situation... but trust me when I say that most people go through this. University is tough! And there are sooo many programs to choose from! You may have not chosen the right program for you and that's okay! We all go through this. That alone shouldn't be the reason to kill yourself...

    Imagine what your family would feel like when you're gone... I'm 100% sure they rather you figure out what program is best for you instead of you just running away from your problems! I hope this post doesn't sound mean or anything. And that it makes sense... But please don't kill yourself or run away from your problems... there will always be little obstacles in life. Just take a breather and take your time figuring things out :)

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  2. I completely understand your position. I am in 4B right now and so scared that I won't graduate because I need a minimum average. I am in a similar position like you, I'm not fond of my program but I do like the co-op terms that I completed. My average throughout all my terms have been really crap, I did get a conditional term where I was only able to raise my average slightly. My parents have come to terms that I won't be an A student they just want me to graduate I know I have disappointed them, and honestly there isn't anything I can do about it anymore except try my hardest to graduate. I told my mom that I didn't enjoy the program and she was surprised and very upset, and thought I was gonna drop out (I told her because shes more understanding than my dad). In my culture its very taboo if you drop out of a program or fail etc.
    If I were you OP I would talk to someone you trust or someone you know who will understand, talking out really helps, I discussed it with my sister. If you are in your 3rd year I would say just stick with it and try your hardest to complete the program. If you are in second year first do your research and see if any credits are transferable then discuss alternate route.
    What program and year are you in?
    Good luck op, I completely understand how you feel, you aren't alone.

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  3. OP here. Wow. I didnt even expect my post to be replied too by such compassionate.. understanding.. and just amazing human beings :( Literally just came on omguw to see if my post had been posted and if anyone would even reply... I actually feel so much better already.

    Im in 2nd year. just started second year this september... I keep and always try to look on the bright side and tell myself, ur still young... im only 20... ive only just begun uni i feel like.. and that i should turn things around now as fast as possible and not waste any further time...

    I actually want to switch to another program and have scheduled a meeting with my advisor this coming week to see if i possible can switch to another program.

    Again.. I cant even begin to explain how good it feels right now to know that you and others up there have or are going through tough times... Thank you for continously pointing out that uni is not the be all end all... and that theres so much else to usand life :)

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    1. > I cant even begin to explain how good it feels right now to know that you and others up there have or are going through tough times

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  4. OP here. I clearly did not mean it like that. I realized this as soon as I posted it and do not mean it like that all. I meant it more in the sense that it makes me feel much much better knowing othwea have gone through so much tough times and hardships and they are willing to ezpress it and let me know of those so that it may make.me feel that it is normal to go through a tough and hard time like the one I am going through. I am very sorry if it came out differently but I did not mean anything like u think it might. That's the last thing I would ever say or mean like that.

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  5. No worries. Good luck OP. You take care of yourself! :)

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  6. You are (not) alone.

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  7. I been there and all I can say is don't look so far ahead. There is no point worrying yourself to death about not getting a job, what to do after you withdraw, what will happen if you do this etc etc. I know it's hard to stop thinking about the future but I bet there is so much more you need to be focusing on like finals, assignments, quizzes. I know this isn't what you like to hear but success starts small and you need to concentrate on smaller things (going to all classes, review, studying) to do well and mostly importantly take responsibility. You have to be truly honest with yourself and think if you are not doing well because of lack of interest or your lack of will. A lot of students who don't do well fall into this mentality that the only reason they are failing or not achieving the grade they need is because they are in a program they hate. You have to think hard OP and be really honest with yourself and the only reason I'm bring this up is because if you do transfer to a new university will the results really be different? Will you really change?
    And lastly I mention responsibility again. It's your life and I know your parents play a big role but when it comes down to it, it's your life. Be brave and take control and do what you want to do and carry the weight of failure if it doesn't work. Not everyone can be successful but not everyone can claim they tried to follow their dream. Stop blaming your parents and take control of your life and be responsible for your actions, be brave.

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  8. Hey kid! I really hope you read this for me.

    Trust me when I say this: We are here for you and your parents WILL understand.

    I survived a hell of a year last year myself. I lost an older sibling and two long time family friends of mine in the span of five months. I was also dealing with a brutal breakup and was trying to stomach the fact that a few crushes of mine were taken. While I did well with my grades, I felt awful, and after indulging in a few vices for far too long and at dangerous levels, I finally went on an antidepressant and received counselling.

    Since then, life has improved! I joined a choir, I've been travelling around Canada near school (I'm in Ottawa), I've been going to parties, getting laid, been making new friends, seeing movies and I'm still kicking ass in my grades. I also think that the program I am in is for me, and this is after many years of self doubt. The future is bright for me, as it will be for you.

    Look, you're 20. I didn't even know what I wanted for lunch, let alone a career, and I'm still only a couple years older than you. Give yourself credit that you've made it this far and take a breather! Nothing wrong with realizing that a program is not for you. Is it a risk to not continue because of a lack of passion or a fear of not making the grade? Yes, but so is going into a career you have no passion for, as well.

    You'll be okay, kid. If I can make it through my year from hell, you can, too! Your parents will love you, no matter what! Just give yourself credit and breathe! This too shall pass, after all!

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    1. Hey. OP here :). This made me feel so good.. like honestly.. you pointed out all the right things.. and i really need to just focus on the points you made.. ill be fine, and i know when i look back at myself in a few years time ill probably laugh that i even thought this was that tough because ill be in a much better position just like you. Thanks so much again, and im so happy that you are now in such a happy better place from then and that your doing well.

      Thanks :)

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    2. 8 again.

      Hey OP! I'm so glad to hear that I could help you! I wish I had the same amount of advice you have received, when I was 20. I probably did get it, but I probably never wanted to listen to it! Haha!

      Trust me, you will laugh when you look back at how life twists and turns for you. I know I'm laughing right now, and I probably will continue to do so, once I graduate and look for work. 'This too shall pass' is a wonderful phrase. Whatever event is hitting you, whether it is positive or negative, is temporary. It has been my life motto since 2006, and I hope it gets to be yours, too.

      Cheers!

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  9. Here's a secret: Education = good job is the Great Lie. These days, you're not going to get a good job with a university degree unless you know certain people. This is because of the huge amount of competition and amount of job cuts. There just simply aren't enough jobs to go around.

    If you feel your studies are too hard, drop out and apply for a job in retail, where there are still positions open. You'll likely end up in retail anyway even if you finish your studies.

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    1. This is patently false.

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    2. lol this guy must be in arts

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    3. 8 here.

      While I wouldn't be too pessimistic over the fact that a university degree doesn't equal a job, I wouldn't dismiss the idea of networking. Some of the jobs and placements that I have worked in were all because I managed to network with the right people. Maybe OP can find people in his parent's circle to direct him into the right career. He is still young after all, and time is on his side!

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    4. ^To add on, education is never a waste of time. If you feel that what you are learning is a waste of time, then that means you are figuring yourself out and what your likes and dislikes are to what you are learning. In my eyes, what you are practicing, in that regard, IS learning.

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    5. I have to say unfortunately I've seen a lot of this. I have a masters in Anthropology and I cannot find a full time job in my field. I've actually been a Starbucks manager for the last 2 years because there's simply nothing out there. And I'm not the only one from my year either. One classmate is working at Staples and another has a job at Toyota.

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  10. Heyy, Warrior! keep going. we are all this together and we will all go through the grind together and come out strong and proud. DONT LET GO WHATEVER YOU DO!

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  11. This is why we have to take the ELPE

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  12. OP: Read 9a's post and realize you have to go above and beyond to win this and get a decent job and it will seem and feel impossible. Is there anyone admin or counseling you can call and talk to like the mods note suggests.

    Didn't mention what program you are in but perhaps you need to sit down and talk with them and say look, I have a problem here and I don't know what to do, get some professional advice, your problem could be anything from time management to just struggling with the material to being overwhelmed, it doesn't hurt to talk and get proper advice. The worrying and stress you describe tells me you are completely overcome by this pressure and worry and that in itself will shut your brain right down and things get only worse.

    I'd do what the mods note says and make that phone call to a help line, pretty sure they won't laugh at you.


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