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Updated on Monday, October 19

#23219

OMG:

So how is a don supposed to act around with first years? Is it acceptable for dons to hang out with a few specific first years of the opposite sex alone? I mean I just find that very weird that they would be attempting to hit on the opposite sex who are a few years younger, plus the fact that they are in a position of authority. Maybe I'm just the weird one here, but if you are a first-year at REV you may know who I'm taking about.....

34 comments

  1. A straight male and a younger straight female, together? Very weird indeed.......

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  2. Depends on how pushy the don is being. If it's bordering on harassment then the fact that he's in a position of authority only makes it worse.

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  3. Being charming and funny doesn't always equal "hitting on" someone
    Sometimes you just wanna make someone laugh

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  4. Its potentially abuse of authority for a don to be exclusively hanging with first years. If the don is the one arranging it, it is definitely a problem, but if it is coincidence (only these girls come out to events, and these girls go out of their way to be with the don) it can look fishy without actually being wrong.

    A don shouldn't be trying to get with the students they lead, and if you honestly think this is the case, REPORT IT to the residence life coordinator for your residence. The person working the front desk at V1 can also help direct you (residence offices are located in V1).

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    1. As for who I am, I am an upper year student who is heavily involved in campus politics, and ran for a Feds exec position. I may not be aware of everything, but I do my best to help and serve other students where I can.

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  5. I have a feeling I know who you're talking about. If my assumption is true, I agree with you. I see him hanging out with a few first-years in particular and they are all strikingly female. I don't believe they are organized events within a floor, as he'll eat with some of them, sometimes alone. I think this is definitely hitting the grey area where he is not exactly harassing them, but his intentions are definitely not 100% clean. If I were you, I would hold off and see. Is it a friend or someone you care about that he's always hanging around?

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  6. I'm an upper year and I am not sure if this is the same person but he's said things like "I hope there will be cute girls" "my cute froshies" etc... If it's obvious, use your better judgement and gather evidence ie pictures and report him.

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    1. Would you be able to give me some hints? If we are talking about the same person here, I would be more comfortable going down that road of reporting him and stuff

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    2. The one I am talking about is Chinese and tall.

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    3. Not the same person then. This will probably give him away but believe he is Hispanic

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  7. Okay guys it's like not he raped anyone. Also it's university everyone is legal age here. There are some dumb girls but no one is getting forced to sleep with someone because he's a don.
    Report him if you want but I seriously think it's nothing and you might be ruining someone's life over nothing.

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  8. 97's are NOT legl
    Dumb girls? Wow are't a sexist little cunt. You mean HE, the DON is dumb lusting after and taking advantage of the froshies.
    Ruin HIS life? He could have already ruined a or more than 1 "dumb" "girls" lives.

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    1. legal*
      aren't you*

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    2. Dude are you high? 97's are clearly legal.

      Also, please stop acting like having safe, consensual sex will ruin your life. At worst, it's a mistake you'll get over, like any of the other dumb shit people do when they're young.

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    3. Age of consent in Canada is 16, whether you like it or not. Most '99s are legal in the eyes of the law.

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    4. 8c, if the other person is more than 5 years older than the 16 or 17 year-old, it isn't legal until they're 18. Probably irrelevant to this situation, but just throwing that out there.

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    5. 8d: the age of consent is 16 years old. The 5 year rule applies to 14-15 year olds.

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  9. You white knights needs to take a chill pill...

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  10. The problem isn't that he is trying to get with a girl, but that it could be an abuse of power.

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    1. How?
      What "power" does a don have?

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    2. They are meant to be the first point of contact, a bit of a counselor, and a bunch of other things for their students. For first years who have not gotten used to adult life dons also have additional artificial power associated with a position of authority over them. Dons also have more authority than you would think within the university structure when it comes to discipline.

      It is also most likely against university policy for a don to be trying to pick up students they are donning. Most likely against the policy that prevents profs from sleeping with students they teach, and other "abuses of power."

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  11. There is actually no rule against a don dating one of his/her students. It's definitely a grey area that the university does not like but there is nothing they can do to stop/prevent it. The only action that they may take is not rehiring the don for future terms.

    That said, there's nothing wrong with a don having lunch with specific people on their floor. Making connections with your students is a positive and the fact that students on this persons floor feel comfortable around this guy enough to go out for lunch or whatever with him is a positive and probably means that they like him.

    Its not like as his don he can force anyone to do anything he says, believe it or not but dons don't have that much power and if these girls didn't want to go for lunch with him they could just say no.

    Personally, I used to don and while not exclusively with girls I would hang out with some of my students outside of res occasionally because they're cool people. If someone invited me to play basketball or board games with them I wouldn't say no because its with a single student. You people are clearly trying to paint a bad picture on this guy who I imagine has done nothing wrong. Even if he has other motives and is interested in a student, it's their business and not yours. He isn't forcing the student to do anything they don't want to and even by university standards has done nothing wrong.

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    1. tbh, it sounds like a Policy 71 violation to me (ethical behaviour). Same rule bars profs from dating students.

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    2. Nope @11
      You just have no idea what you are talking about and like to just say "policy 71 violation" when someone does something that doesn't agree with you.

      https://uwaterloo.ca/secretariat-general-counsel/policies-procedures-guidelines/policy-71

      disruptive, dangerous, aggressive or threatening behaviour, including by electronic means
      misuse of University resources, equipment or supplies, including, but not limited to, computers and network, keys, records, permits, letterhead
      mischief
      vandalism
      theft
      infringing unreasonably on the work of others
      violation of instructor’s communicated rules, such as prohibition of recording lecture
      violation of safety regulations in a laboratory or other setting
      unauthorized use of equipment, material or a facility or service
      unethical behaviour
      contravention of statute (e.g., Liquor License Act; Criminal Code)

      Where does "don dating a student" fall into and how is it violating policy 71?

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    3. 11b, second point from the bottom: "unethical behaviour." In basically the same way a therapist dating their patient is unethical. Dons have a duty of care - both implicit and explicit - to the residents in their building.

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    4. @ 11c HA more made up bullshit

      https://uwaterloo.ca/housing/sites/ca.housing/files/uploads/files/sample-DON-AGREEMENT.pdf

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    5. 11d, that agreement only proves my point. The don's agreement is subject to university policies - it doesn't supercede it. And it's noticeably nebulous about the conditions under which a don can be dismissed.

      Furthermore, it explicitly says "a don is in a position of trust." I could be wrong, but a person in a position of trust being in a compromising situation with one of the people for whom they're responsible sounds like "unethical behaviour" to me. Probably unethical enough for them to at least be dismissed from their position, if it can be reasonably proven to be true.

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  12. Original 11 here (wasn't any of these other messages), just gonna throw it out there. There has been multiple, I repeat multiple situations in the past in which a don has dated or even just had a one time fling with a student. Its not a perfect system and like I said the only thing housing can really do is opt not to rehire that don. Looking at it from there end its nearly impossible to find a replacement don half way through the term. Everyone is adults and everyone is free to decide who they want. If it becomes an issue the students can always fill in a form to have themselves moved to a different residence. Like I said, housing severely discourages sex with students or other dons, but there is nothing they can do to prevent it.

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    1. meant to reply on the 11 posts... as you can see I'm not so great with omguw...

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    2. 11e here. Thanks for the info - my speculation about the ethics rules is one thing, how housing actually operates is obviously another.

      That said, I do still think it's unethical, and I think there *should* be formal rules against it... but I can also see how that could potentially cause very real problems in itself.

      At the very least, I think there should at least be a formalized policy on this topic. Such a policy needn't ban it outright, but it could go a long way to establishing ground rules, so there isn't a big scandal the first time someone claims sexual harassment by a don (which I obviously hope doesn't happen, but it could).

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  13. Well see that's the difference, dating is allowed but sexual harassment clearly isn't. I think the general law handles that situation pretty well. It might be a bit unethical, but I don't think it's that bad. If both people like each other should they really need to wait until the end of the term/year? It's not as though the student is going to get a real benefit out of dating their don. You could say that they might let them get away with drinking or something, but every don has duty shifts and you anyone can make a noise complaint to the front desk so...

    If a student really did claim sexual harassment, it would be treated the same way that any normal sexual harassment claim would be dealt with. Ya, it may make for a bad headline but that would be the case regardless of whether or not the university had a rule. The school clearly hasn't endorsed dons sleeping with their students and they make a point to tell dons that they don't want them to do it. That said, there's no crime and no feasible way the university could stop consensual sex from happening. Sure they could fire a don (wouldn't stop it from happening, just like drinking, smoking, etc), but then how do they replace them? Go any farther and have university consequence to the don and they're in a legal area that the university definitely doesn't want to be in.

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  14. Hi all, staff member for Housing here. Just to clarify, a Don is not allowed to be romantically involved with one of the students living in their community. We would consider that a dereliction of duties. If you are at all concerned I urge you to reach out to the Residence Life Coordinator for REV who would be able to objectively support you. It's important to us that you feel safe in your Residence community and if we can help in any way we would like to do so.

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