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Updated on Monday, September 28

#21325

OMG: I'm in love with my best friend, but we're too comfortable around each other for me to tell her how I feel. Also, whenever I've had a crush on someone in the past I've never been too smooth or good at telling her so she always gets away. Any advice?

15 comments

  1. Dude, just tell her and stop being such a pussy.

    You're in the friend zone now, is that where you want to stay? Make a move, thats the only way you might actually start fucking.

    If she doesn't like you, you lose a friend. But who gives a fuck? Why would you bother being friends with a girl you aren't going to be fucking anyway?

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    1. This post started good (for about 4 words), and then took such a sharp dive off the deep end, I'm having trouble believing it WASN'T written by a troll just trying to start a flame war.

      Yes 1, believe it or not, plenty of guys have plenty of female friends who they have absolutely no chance of - and often even no interest in - sleeping with (and know it). Some of those guys are often in stable, committed, long-term, monogamous relationships themselves, and hang out with their female friends (without their significant other present!) just to chill and have drinks.

      Shocking, I know. Blasphemous, definitely. I'm sure it's hard to comprehend if you don't see women as much more than fleshlights with a pulse to begin with....

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    2. Lol. You know how much trouble girls are when you're dating them? Why the FUCK would you bother with their bullshit unless you're getting some action out of it? Even other girls hate being friends with girls, my ex went through about 5 "best friends" while we were together.

      Guys are only friends with girls they want to fuck (if you're a girl and you have guy "friends", yes, they wouldn't be hanging around you if they didn't find you attractive). Girls are only friends with guys they can easily manipulate. Its just how the world works.

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    3. 1b, your sad worldview aside, I'm a straight guy who's been in a few relationships, all except for one of which ended on good terms, am currently dating a wonderful girl, and have many female friends. In fact, when I think about it, I'm pretty sure *most* of my friends are women. I didn't meet them all through my gf either - some I met through my program, others through extracurriculars, etc. Some are single, others are dating other guys (some of whom I know/am friends with, others who I haven't met yet). I enjoy their company, they enjoy mine... why WOULDN'T I want to be friends with them? My life doesn't revolve around who I'm getting sex from next.

      Just because the world has worked a certain way for you, doesn't mean that's how it works in general. Maybe you've been hanging out around the wrong sort of women, if they've all been the sort of people who would manipulate you to get things they want....

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    4. Shit dude, you're pretty far down the rabbit hole. Get some guy friends to bro-chat with so you can straighten yourself out.

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    5. 1d, I never said I didn't have guy friends, just that *most* of my friends were women. I'm close with my guy friends, too.

      Life's pretty sweet tbh, I love all my friends, and they treat me right too. So I can waste my time doing shit like fighting with idiots on OMGUW who think women only make friends they can manipulate.

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    6. 1c, going off on a tangent here, but that one relationship you were in that didn't end on good terms, what happened? I ask because all of my relationships have ended on terrible terms and it's just odd to see someone who has remained friends with their exes.

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    7. 1f, I was in high school for that one. Lots of melodrama around the breakup, lost touch pretty quickly afterwards.

      Don't misunderstand - it's not like I'm hanging out with my exes and their new boyfriends over beers or anything, but once in a while we chat over facebook about whatever we're up to lately, and that's cool. Couldn't have done it right away though.

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    8. Lol perf response 1e

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    9. Honestly, why bother being friends with someone you want to fuck but can't. Men are pretty primitive sexually, we see a hot piece of pussy, we want to stick our dicks in it.

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  2. Just tell her! Whether it works out in your favor or not, at least you won't be left wondering what would have happened if you did ask her out.

    Worst case, it doesn't work out. You'd still have managed to overcome your nervousness, and that's just as important as the outcome if not more. Don't worry about your friendship with her. If she's truly your best friend, this won't get in the way of your friendship.

    Maybe a low risk way of doing it would be too casually bring up how well the two of you get along and what she thinks of you. If you think she's bad at picking up on hints, then just tell her directly that you're fond of her or whatever. Good luck warrior!

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    1. Yeah, I favour the direct approach. Don't play games - emotional authenticity speaks VOLUMES, and is something we all appreciate/crave. Tell her how you feel, and be genuine about it. If she really is your friend, then at the very least she'll let you down easily and honestly, by sharing HER feelings with you.

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  3. Go out for a pleasant evening. Plan locations carefully. Make sure it you have to do a fair bit of walking. When you have reasoable privacy say 'Can you hold up a second?' then kiss her. It worked for me. (I mean, the kissing part. We were chatting at a party and it was loud and she had to move her mouth close to my ear so I could hear. With her cheek two inches from my mouth and her hair in my face, I'd reached breaking point. So, I just starting kissing her. I think she was pretty relieved. I sure as hell was.)

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  4. Usually if a woman is friends with a man too long, that is how she will perceive him, like a brother. She will also feel like you have betrayed the friendship and think you wanted her for sex because the line between best friend and a relationship is usually just that.

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  5. Mmm if you don't want to go the direct way, have you tried to subtly hint at it? If so, was her response positive?

    My bf and I were friends for quite some time, then suddenly boom we started dating. He subtly initiated it, but if I wasn't reciprocating then it would have never happened.

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