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Updated on Friday, June 12

#21027

OMG: I'm a Bengali girl who wants to marry someone who I have now been in a relationship with for 7 years. I never told my parents about him because I knew they wouldn't approve of me being in a relationship with this person. He never told his parents about me either. I want to hopefully marry this person in the future once we're financially ready. But his parents as well as mine are making the whole thing difficult. What do we do? Family is an important relationship and I don't want to hurt either of our families...

21 comments

  1. Wow, that's a tough one. I assume their objections are based on religious grounds? Yes, family relationship ARE important and frankly I think the onus is on them to come to that realization. I am Caucasian, an atheist, and I was for a time dating a girl whose parents were Sikhs (she was very western). It was awesome from the minute we met. I won't get into the whole sad story but they despised me (without ever actually meeting me...they simply refused). It ruined our relationship and given how hard it is to find the right person, it's something I'll always resent. After 7 years, I don't think they have any right to force you to separate. Do you thing, and put the onus on them to put family first.

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  2. Both of you should confront your parents, explain in the best way why you should be together. If it doesn't work, then I am sorry, you have to choose.

    This might not be a popular thing to say, but remember that (most) parents will love you and support you no matter what, while couples can break up after 30 years of marriage. But it depends on your parents, if they are abusive or something then this doesn't apply.

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  3. You are a tigress, do what any tigress would do.

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    Replies
    1. Raise a cub alone, viciously defending your territory from all other tigers? Go into heat regularly? Teach your young to ambush hunt?

      Metaphors are tough...

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  4. Kena hobi naa, Bokachoda

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    Replies
    1. We don't speak spanish here.

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  5. Just plan ahead. Prepare for the worst. If you guys are serious, you don't have to marry now. Both of you need to become financially stable. Most importantly when you are ready to tell them, just remember this is your life you're living and not theirs. Be ready to agree to disagree.

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  6. As a person in a relationship with someone from a different race and faith group. You have to put your foot down to let your parents know how serious you are. If they see any hesitation they will put a stronger fight. In the end, parents always come around but you might have to walk the path alone at first and fight....

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  7. Fuck them. They're wrong.

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  8. As someone who came from a different culture, than my now-husband I understand how tough this is. My parents refused to even speak with me until my first child was born. They didn't even meet my husband until my second was 3 months old. Eventually though they got to meet him, and now absolutely love him, and have accepted my choices.

    My advice to you is do what you feel is right. Yes, family is important, but as serious as you are about your partner he/she is also your family now.

    Obviously you have to do what's best for your situation, but don't give up your happiness to placate your family's. It's not worth it in the end.

    Good luck!

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  9. I was in a trans-species relationship with a sheep and my parents wouldn't accept my choices. There was nothing more sexy than feeling that soft wool.

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  10. Make $$$$ and break your parents off. Eventually they'll know they are wrong and accept your choice. Being there done just that.

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  11. Simple. Do you want to live your life or the life that your parents imagine you to have? That's all it really comes down to. If they don't accept your choices then you are better off without them anyways, after all you are going to create a family of your own with your partner.

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  12. listen you need to break up with that boi and find a nice Bengali boy. one day you'll understand but right now you're too stupid to understand that the only way you will survive in this world is by finding a strong muscular Bengali boy, they make fine warriors

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  13. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBumgq5yVrA

    Passenger - Let Her Go

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  14. I'm a transexual transgender transracial who identifies as a black female, but I'm in love with the white male parts of me sexually while identifying as a male porpoise in the south pacific. Is it love?

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    Replies
    1. still a better love story than twilight

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  15. You might find helpful advice in reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists

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