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Updated on Thursday, April 16

#20875

OMG: That feeling when you have to break up with your girlfriend because you're graduating. I'm moving across the country for work and she's still on campus for a couple years. Never found someone I really wanted to date until I met her this term and we dated for the past couple months always knowing it would have to end. She's amazing and I wish it didn't have to end. Life really sucks sometimes. 

15 comments

  1. Aw man don't break up. Contrary to popular belief, although it is a lot of work and effort, long distance relationships can work out! Just have plans to visit each other and have a long term plan to be together and look forward to it.

    Damn this post broke my heart cause I know how hard it is to find someone that you have a true connection with. :( All the best OP.

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  2. It doesn't have to end. Unless she's insistent on splitting up (in which case there's nothing you can do), you should at least try to maintain the relationship if you like her that much.

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  3. why does it have to end? plenty of people do long distance for a while, and then find a time to re-connect a bit later. if you truly do wish it "didn't have to end" then you'd probably at least try Long distance

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  4. If you see a future with her, why would you guys break up? Long distance is hard, but it doesn't mean it's impossible. If you both put in the effort, your relationship is just advancing to the next step.

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  5. Probabilistic-ally speaking, there are more possibilities of things not working out between you two than there are of everything being well in your relationship when it becomes a long distance relationship. I advise you to end it with her and save yourself from future grief, unless you have complete faith in each other. There are plenty of other fish in the sea, and if you can't find anyone else you like, then you can always try and return back to her.

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    1. This is horrible advice.

      >Save yourself from future grief
      If everyone adhered by this, no one would set out to do anything.

      >unless you have complete faith in each other
      Should be a given in any relationship. I'm not saying all relationships are like this, but if this is missing, the end is imminent, regardless of the distance.

      >if you can't find anyone else you like, then you can always try and return back to her
      That's not how relationships work.

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    2. @5.a I'm just saying. All the other replies have been too optimistic, so I just felt I should be a bit more down to earth, and I based my advice off of 2 relationships I've seen of people I know who've tried to do a long distance relationship and failed. I say save yourself from future grief because in one of those relationships, they broke up and got back together several times and the last time they got back together, their relationship became a long distance one because the guy moved away for co-op and later the girl ended it with a seemingly uncaring attitude, and the guy went through depression.
      And for the other piece of advice where I say 'unless you have complete faith in each other,' I say that based off of the second long distance relationship I've observed. I became friends with this girl next door and she'd tell me all about how she's been having a long distance relationship with this guy from her high school for a long time. Well, I invite her to go out and party with me and my friends a couple times, and out of the blue one day, she tells me she is hooking up with one of my friends and when I asked about her boyfriend, she told me she broke it up with him because of how the long distance thing wasn't really working for her.
      And okay, that last piece of advice was stupid, I agree, I just got carried away in my pessimistic response.

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    3. 5b, I understand where you're coming from but anecdotal evidence from two cases isn't enough to try to deter OP from pursuing this...

      In the first example, I'd put money on them eventually splitting up anyway. Relationships that suffer multiple break-ups have something fundamentally wrong in them that isn't being addressed properly.

      It sounds like these are high school relationships, which (I am generalizing here) typically aren't as stable because people don't know what they want in a partner, only that they want a partner.

      An LDR is a lot of work, no argument there. I just think that if you currently have a healthy relationship, there's no reason not to at least try.

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  6. I know who this is. Bro, you're a frigging idiot. -_-

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  7. @OP If one person in the relationship doesn't want it to continue, then you have every right to break up. I broke up with a girl I loved because of very similar circumstances (except I left the continent) and while LDR was ok at first it turned out not to be for us. Don't let people on the internet talk you out of a choice you realistically might have to make.

    If LDR works for you, do it. However, if you're doing it at an inconvenience / the relationship feels different / you don't like it, break up.

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  8. 2 years of inter-continental long distance did wonders for my relationship. It taught us how to relax, communicate, and live for ourselves as well as our partner. It's not for everybody, but my relationship wouldn't have made it had we not done the distance.

    I hope life works out for you, and if you really want to be with this girl, you'll get through it with her.

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  9. I agree with 5 and 7. It takes a lot to make LDR work. My ex-boyfriend and I broke up because of the same reason as OP. We tried to make it work in the beginning but it was too hard. Life really just sucks sometimes.

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  10. I need a girlfriend so desperately. lucky dude

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  11. I think if you know how much effort and work needed for the relationship and you are willing to commit to it, then it will work out. I met mine when he was about to graduate, and it's been a year, but our relationship just grows stronger over time, and I think its worth it. However, we both trust each other and we know how much time school takes and we both agree on putting school my priority while I'm still in school, so it works out for us. May be try to talk about it with the girl and see what both of you think about it. Hope it works out for you OP

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  12. why do you have to end it? try long distance

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