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Updated on Tuesday, January 27


OMG: Does anyone else ever wonder what is considered 'normal'? Some days I feel isolated and lonely because everyone else seems so connected, and get overwhelmed and distraught with these feelings. On occasion I self harm.
These moments always make me want to get some help, but then with some distance from the situation I start feeling better. Eventually, though, something happens that gets me down again. Part of me thinks everyone else feels distressed and sad once in a while and it's a normal part of life. But the other part of me feels that this is no way to live, and wants concrete steps to actually become fine. So I'm wondering at what point I should be concerned with the sadness, helplessness, talking to yourself, negative thoughts, self harm, etc. At what point do they exceed what is normal?


  1. If you are harming yourself, it has gone too far. It feels so much better when you reach out and talk to someone who can help. Trust me. You can do it.

  2. I am on the exact same boat as you. Some days I am completely fine and I talk myself out of getting help. I always think that the person I end up talking to would either think I'm an attention seeker or just weak. Then on my bad days, I have no one to talk to and no one who cares and I end up harming myself to alleviate the pain. Just last week, I was crying hysterically in a school bathroom while slitting my wrist, all over one minuscule matter. I, too, have my doubts about whether it's normal or not and I'd love to know the answer to your question.

  3. Learning to cope with everyday worries, being friendly and sociable with people you meet are pretty good guidelines. Being someone who moved different times, an only child, and lives off campus currently, bonding with others and living your life the way you think makes you most happy is really the best way to diffuse the loneliness and feeling of distance, IMHO. Also crying yourself to despair and self harm is NOT normal, seek help from someone close or counselling.

  4. Whenever I am feeling melancholic, I tell myself to stop being a bitch and get on with it. Quit with the boohoo crying already; it's all attention seeking behaviour. The truth is, nobody cares about you; only you can take care of yourself. And that is part of growing up. It is true that life has no deeper 'meaning'; there is no point to it. Just keep swimming.

  5. Normal is really very subjective. You define your own normal.

    While it's true that you're not going to be happy 100% of the time, you should overall be happy. If youre miserable and barely getting by, it's definitely something you need to talk to someone about.

    You got it out on omguw, which is good! Try booking a counselling appt and see where it goes from there. You might need to change the way you think about things or your might need to start medication or a bit of both. Either way, its better to talk to someone :) Good luck with everything!

  6. I think it's really good that you're recognizing something isn't right, because one of the insidious things about getting depression, or having depression, is you don't believe you have it. This causes a lot of people not to take the first steps toward getting help.

    If you are self-harming then things are clearly not okay. What's worrisome about self-harming is that it can be addictive. If you seek out help, even if you haven't had a distressful sad moment recently, then at least you'll have some tools to recognize some warning signs and tips to curb any self-harming behaviour.

    I would urge you to talk to someone about this in whatever way is most comfortable for you. It can be a counsellor or a friend or a someone on a help line if face to face talking isn't your thing. I think that talking to someone about it will really help, even if you're unsure that your feelings warrant it.

  7. OP here. Thank you so much for your thoughtful responses. I have the tendency to think everything is fine when in actuality I'm just avoiding triggers, and after my self harm relapse this week I realized I do need help. In the time since I posted I let my older sibling know what happened, and I made an appointment with the chaplain at Renison to talk as well. I'm actually quite proud of myself for taking these steps, and that they are the first of many toward dealing with my feelings and struggles in a healthy way.

    I thank everyone here for your encouragement, even though we're all anonymous and I don't know who you are! You are the best side of this community :)

    @2: You and I are very similar. I tend to think I'm making a mountain of a molehill when I get upset, but I'm learning that one type of pain isn't more valid than the other. I hope to learn how to not be ashamed of my oversensitivity, and that it's okay to speak up when I feel hurt. Your feelings are valid because you feel them. I'm also learning that it's okay to ask for people's help, attention and support. #2, we can do this. We are not weak, or desperate. We can courageously put an end to this cycle.