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Updated on Monday, December 29

#20316

OMG: Just trying to find out if I'm the only one in this situation. I am a 1A engineering student. I have failed 2 of my courses and have a final average of 55%. I will not be progressing to 1B. I am required to repeat 1A in Fall 2015. I come from a poor family that has an annual income around $9k-$14k. My parents told me since grade 10 that they wouldn't be able to support me after high school. They let me be on my own completely. Being in a new city, and a new place along with the whole transitioning to university thing, I had a rough start. I am very socially awkward, never managed to make a friend in high school or 1A. I was a very high achiever in high school with a 93% average and this is the first time I have ever failed any course. This result has broken my spirit completely. I can come up with an excuse saying that I didn't have a place to call home till after midterm because of Schembri Property Management which resulted in me having midterm average of 50% and had me into a very rough start or whatever, but real life doesn't give two shits about excuses. Right now I am back at my own country, buried my grandfather and still mourning his death. This is the worst thing that could have happened to me. I haven't told my parents anything. I can't tell them. I tried. My throat swole up and my lips stopped moving every time I tried to tell them. I am suicidal. For past 24 hours all I've been doing is planning out scenarios of least painful death from household materials. I need help. I really need help. I don't know what to do. Help me.

23 comments

  1. Hey there.

    First of all, please know that there are people who care deeply about you and WILL help you through this, even though it may seem impossible right now. I know it is scary and you may not want to, but it's very important that you do call your country's emergency number right away, or get yourself to the nearest hospital. If you have a friend or person that you trust, please call them to be with you through this and it will be better than going it alone.

    I wish I had a list of emergency numbers for your country, but I'm not sure where you are right now. If you find yourself in a similar situation back in Waterloo, here's a list of numbers.

    519-744-1813 (This is the mobile crisis team, they are very kind and will help you out.)

    519-888-4911 (UW Police- they will also help you, this would be most helpful if you are on/ close to campus)

    Please do not hesitate to call 911 emergency or go to the nearest hospital.

    I think that getting yourself to a safe place where you can access professional support is your first step. Please reach out somehow, OP. I know you can do it.

    In terms of the incredible stressors you have had, I can't even imagine trying to manage an engineering program without having a home for almost 2 months of the term, plus the loss of your grandfather, plus being away from home. All of this in your very first term of university. Please know that this isn't simply an excuse, this is a legitimate circumstance. You sound very concerned about your academics, but please wait to deal with that side of things until your health is back on track. For now, please know that the school offers services that will assist you in a number of ways: You can talk to someone at Health Services or Counselling Services to get back up support. You can petition this term. You can consider erasing this term from your record and starting fresh once you feel better. Please know that there are options, I know people make this school out to be horrible and not caring about their students, but if you reach out and are honest with your professors, academic advisors and other staff of the school I know that they will support you. Trust me, I have had friends in similar situations who have been able to get support from the school, so please reach out and see what options you have.

    Sorry for the long post, OP, but I really want my message to get to you. I hope things get better for you <3

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    Replies
    1. Literally the worst advice ever, nigger.

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    2. 1a, clearly you know nothing about mental health crises. so do all of us who are helping a favour and shut the fuck up you insensitive asshole.

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    3. This is awesome advice :) I'm glad someone smart and caring could respond to OP!

      1a, shoot yourself already

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  2. OP,

    Don't do it. That's the first thing I'll say. Please. I know it's difficult, but try to be rational. Breathe. Doing what you're planning to do is going to hurt your parents much more than what you're trying to tell them. Please do not kill yourself for this.

    I would love to talk to you. You need an ear. E-mail me here an_ear@hushmail.com

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  3. Also, to answer your first question- you are most definitely not the only one in this situation, I've been there myself. But it's so strong of you to reach out here, because a lot of other students who are struggling with this will see your post and realize they are not alone. Stay strong, OP.

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  4. OP, you have extenuating circumstances (nowhere to live). The university should be very accommodating academically. So let's not worry too much about that bit.

    You can take some time off to work and earn some money before you start again, so don't fret too much about the financial matters either. The university is pretty good at making sure no one has to leave school for financial reasons (lots of bursaries available). You can also use that time before returning to study in advance for your courses to give yourself more of an edge. (If you're interested in software and want to make a nice chunk of money over the summer, Google Summer of Code is pretty awesome.)

    You probably should talk to your parents, and especially let them know how you're feeling. I don't know of any parents that would prefer their children dead over some struggles that can be worked through. It's not worth it. You're nothing to be ashamed of: soooo many people go through this, and they didn't travel to a foreign country with a fucked up housing situation to do so! School is a *hard* transition, even for those of us with 90s averages.

    I know how this feels, OP, because I've been there. Try to focus on getting through each day, one at a time. It will be the hardest thing you've ever done but you're going to make it worth it in the end. Even though everything feels terrible right now and you just want it to stop, you are stronger than you think. You can pull through.

    Hugs. If you wanna talk, come hang out with the radio club on IRC: http://webchat.freenode.net/?channels=uwarc

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  5. Hey there man, just wanted to tell you that your life is worth much more than a school term or a couple thousand dollars. Please don't consider suicide for something like this, your life is worth a lot more. In the grand scheme of things who cares if you repeat 4 months, better than ending your life right now when you have so much more to experience. If u need to talk I'm here brotha

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    Replies
    1. International students pay $16500+ per academic term.

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  6. I failed 1A Eng a while ago, and after a repeated term and a few more after that, I'm in 2A now. I won't lie, it will be a hard journey and you will probably feel terrible for the next year, but this stuff has happened to thousands and thousands of people so don't think it's just you.

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  7. 1 failure wont hurt you, I promise. You seem genuine and if you recover I am sure you will more than make up for it your next time around. All you have to do is patiently wait for next 8 months.

    I was in the same situation as you except my parents weren't poor. (I failed 1 A... too much freedom). I don't have any advice on how to break this to your mom and dad but you have to. Work hard next year and make up for it, but dont think about suicide.

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    1. And to add I will graduate with distinction. This is to say that 1 failure doesn't make you a failure you can easily bounce back up. Anyways Good luck dude

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  8. I had a very similar situation happen to me OP. I won't lie and say it ended all happily, but it did direct me through a different path, one that I will say gave me more than I would have had I continued on the first one. Hang in there and review all your options thoroughly. Contact those who you think might give you sound guidance and realize that sometimes life works in strange ways. Don't give up.

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  9. Hey man I've been in your situation a couple years ago. At first it was really hard, but it got way better afterwards. You can talk to your student advisor about this and try to petition to move on to 1B. Also apply for osap if you didn't already. I wish you the best of luck! Life is precious. Don't let this one failure get you down.

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  10. Hi OP - I hope these comments help you and stray you from thoughts of suicide

    I'm not in Engineering, but my family's income is within your range because I have a single mom who isn't able to financially support me through university. The loans, grants, scholarships etc. that you can get are helpful, and now that I am in co-op I am able to pay my tuition and living costs by managing my money.

    First year is difficult, you're adjusting to life in a new city, the workload and being away from home. I didn't do well in my first year and wish I could erase those grades because they aren't a true reflection of my abilities, but you have to realize that you made it through that year and have another chance at getting higher grades. A lot of people I know failed their first year of Engineering and then passed the second time around.

    Don't be too hard on yourself, see where there is room for improvement, know that you're at a great university, and that co-op is an amazing opportunity to help you fund your education. No one wants you to make a permanent decision of suicide for a temporary problem. Come back to UW and finish strong! :)

    - Your fellow Warrior.

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  11. This is OMGUW where is the comment simply stating "Do it faggot"? I jest. If you don't have to financially support your family back home, then I would work menially around for a year, get some free tutoring, and accumulate some capital. But be prepared the second time around.

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    1. I would like to amend the expected reaction of this site to being 'Why commit suicide when you can go on a school shooting spree instead?'.

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  12. 11 and 11a- just leave this thread. I can't even put into words how disgusting your actions are.

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    1. lol relax it's obviously sarcasm

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  13. to make light of a situation like this is disgusting. end of story.

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  14. Hey OP,

    I've gone through engineering, and even though I never had the same experience (failing multiple classes) I have seen many friends fail a term and continue with their education.

    However, I want to provide you with a couple of bright lights.

    The first bright light in this scenario is co-op. It gives you financial independence. I've been able to pay off each term, and come through my education overall at a slightly positive value (about 8 grand) due to co-op payments which help with my degree. However, im' currently in 4A and I know that costs are rising. Push yourself to apply for some financial bursaries, they will help and you can get through university without having to find financial aid elsewhere.

    The second bright light is that grades don't matter as much as you think they do. Honestly, I value my co-op terms much more than any class I've ever taken. Grades don't factor as much into your post-university life as you may feel they do at the moment. It is a harrowing experience to be left-behind your classmates and peers, but each experience is intended to provide greater personal charisma as you strive towards goals that you intend for yourself.

    I know the above may be fairly generalized, but from my heart - your goals, desires and the little aspects of life are worth living for as they can be achieved. Great success never occurs without some failure guiding us along. Keep at it!

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  15. Hi OP, you can also consider transferring into another program and the transferring back into engineering! General science has an average cap of 55% so you would be allowed to stay if you were there. I'm wishing you the best and I hope you can ignore the assholes on this thread. I am always here to talk and if you just want to talk to another student I can set up some random gmail account or something that you can email and we can chat and talk it out! Sometimes it just helps to have someone to talk to!

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  16. Hey, I'm not sure if you believe in God but I do. I believe that God does not give problems that you can't handle. So, PLEASE just discard the idea of committing suicide.

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