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Updated on Wednesday, October 29

#20022

OMG: I'm in love with my best friend and I don't know what to do. I know there's something there but we're both too scared to say anything. He's been my best friend for years and I can't imagine my life without him; so I fear telling him and him not feeling the same way. He doesn't have a clue about how I feel about him. Now any time I see him with a girl or have to listen to him talk about the girls he gets with/ girls he sees I die a little inside. What's a girl to do..

9 comments

  1. Similar situation. We were so intellectually and emotionally compatible, so we got really close really quickly and I could tell he had a thing for me, but he was completely oblivious that I reciprocated his feelings. He was going on one-on-one hangouts with other girls, as was his right, and I felt so preoccupied with jealousy that I couldn't focus on school at all. We were used to having heart-to-heart convos, so I brought up my insecurity over losing him as my best friend in the inevitable scenario that he (or I, however unlikely that may be) starts dating someone. To my joy, he tentatively proposed an exclusive more-than-friends arrangement (not in a sexual sense, but sort of a pre-dating thing) and then after a while spent talking around the subject I accepted. And that's where we are now. Men don't always have to be the initiators and you can play a role too. If you don't talk to him and he dates someone else, you'll lose him both as a best friend and as a potential boyfriend.

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  2. I agree. Hints don't work so well with us guys. If this was a friend of mine whom I have feelings for since 2nd year, but seem to be doing what the guy @1 did (for some dumb reason) I would love for her to let me know. Go for it. If your friendship is already strong I think you will be able to recover from a little awkwardness pretty quick.

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  3. If it's bothering you to the point that it's consuming your thoughts (as it seems to be), you really don't have the option of ignoring it and hoping it goes away. If you really think there's something there, and if you're really confident that your friendship is strong, I don't think you should be afraid to ask; and, again, it doesn't seem like you have much other choice.

    My suggestion would be to just propose a date. You can bring it up as though it's just a friendly get together, like going to see a movie, but make sure it's just the two of you. That's when you can tell him in person how you feel--preferably early on in the date so that you have plenty of time to diffuse the tension if he doesn't feel the same way--and whatever happens after that, at least you'll have it off your mind.

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    1. What if his friend gets weird-ed out... That would be devastating for OP.

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  4. My girlfriend and I both had crushes on each other for years before we finally started dating. We were best friends long before I ever got to ask her out.

    What eventually got us to talk about it was her friends persistently asking if we were a couple.

    We missed out on a lot of time together, because of it, though. I used to fantasize about her coming up to me one day and telling me she felt the same way about me that I did about her, but I didn't know whether or not she did.

    So, if I were this guy, I would definitely want you to say something.

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  5. If you do nothing, then nothing will happen, and you'll be miserable.

    If you do something, then there is a chance something will happen, and you might not be miserable.

    Tough choice, but might as well go down swinging. You'll feel better having tried and failed if that's how it turns out.

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  6. So this is that time of the yr where ppl get really depressed. So basically what u "gotta" do is go up to her and be like. I don't wanna be ur best friend anymore. Will u go out on a date with me?

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  7. You hot? If yes then no worries mah man

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  8. Hold up, you "know there's something there" but he doesn't have a clue how you feel? Uhhh, something's not quite right here...

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