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Updated on Monday, June 23

#19323

OMG: I heard GLOW was very clique-y and not accepting of new members at all...which is pretty ironic. Is this true? I also heard that they are all friends with each other and very critical of really and truly letting people into their friend circle. They also only date within their circle.

22 comments

  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  2. Yes, many members of GLOW are very cliquey. However, you should not generalise. This is not true of the entire service.

    But I do agree that there are some people who are part of GLOW who express such polarising opinions that it reflects on the entire service. Try not to think poorly of everyone who is part of GLOW though =)

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  3. I've heard this about GLOW too, which makes me so much less likely to try and join.

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    1. You clearly did not read my comment (2). I am trying to tell you that not everyone is like that in the service. Some people are very friendly. But I agree there are some people who are quite exclusive.

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  4. Glow is the same as any other club or service on campus-people go there to make friends, they make friend circles and hangout with them. Like any club, you will have people who are cliquey. HOWEVAAA. It is the job of glows executive to make sure any volunteer on duty is welcoming and will tell you about the service/events etc.

    So if you go and have a bad experience, please email the coordinators. The most important thing glow does on campus is make sure queer and trans youth feel welcome/safe SOMEWHERE and have the chance to make friends. If the coordinators cant ensure that is happening then glow is failing in its purpose.

    Lastly, about dating in-circle and letting people in to their friend circles-once you get to uni everyone is a bit like that and the queer community is smaller than p much any other community. Which means that of course they all date each other. Where else can they go? Thereare no queer clubs anymore. And of course some of them are skeptical about letting people into their friend circles, thats just people. But loads of people there are super friendly. So if you go, just try to find events you might find peoplewith similar interests at.

    Oh and also, if you are a heterosexual ally trying to go and find the place makes you uncomfortable, whether because they challenge heterosexual privilege or because they talk a lot about queer sex/bodies/trans identities etc. then hey, be uncomfortable for a bit and learn and eventually it wont be weird for you!

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    1. Yea as a questioning male who acts entirely masc I sure as hell don't feel comfortable there. Great inclusivity.

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    2. 4.a can you specify why you don't feel comfortable? I am really curious. I am not a member of GLOW but I know a lot of the volunteers.

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    3. 4a if your problem is that some of the dudes are flamboyant instead of "entirely masc" then that's your own problem with internalized homophobia. I'm a lesbian who's "entirely fem" [using your notation] and never felt excluded. I also didn't participate much so I didn't get to know people - I had other friends and a very busy life so I only went like 3-4 times a semester, so it's no wonder. If you just show up once or twice and don't make an effort to say 'hey, I'm new here, looking forward to getting to know people' then you're gonna have a bad time. ANY friend group is difficult to break into because they know each other well and that's intimidating as an outsider. If you want to get over it, you just have to suck it up and try, instead of running away and complaining. I never did get tight with glow but it was my own fault because I didn't try.

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  5. sounds like any group around lol

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  6. Yeah, cliquey as fuck. I volunteered there for two semesters a few years back and only made one friend. It was dreadful.

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  7. Glow's main objective is to provide a safe space on campus to sit and relax, making friends and seeing cliques comes down to who else accesses the centre, which is a huge variety of people. But if you feel threatened in the environment you should definitely tell the volunteer on duty or e-mail one of the execs.

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  8. Those are some pretty big generalizations, friend.

    I joined up with Glow in my second year here and people there are (for the most part) friendly and welcoming, since it's part of their policy as a Feds Service.

    As for the only dating "within their circle", I have never done that... but realistically where else are you going to find a relatively large group of queer people on campus?

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  9. Add the fact that half of them hate straight people and you've got GLOW.

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    1. Half of them do not hate straight people. Every group has those radical people that ruin it for everyone else. Seriously, did noone read my first comment?

      Whenever people here that ONE person or a small group of people said something crazy, they instantly hold on to that. It's so annoying that humans only remember the bad things they here. Most people at Glow HATE those people who hate straight people.

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  10. I actually do hate heterosexuals, this is true. Nothin wrong w some hetero hate

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  11. Glow's inner circle is accepting of new members... Given that they are attractive and outgoing. Which is what pride is all about now, not trying to make LGBTQ+ people feel accepted as it should be.

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    1. Please don't make that a queer issue though. People who are neither outgoing nor attractive make fewer friends.

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    2. 11.a he/she is saying that GLOW people are both attractive and outgoing. They never said it was a gay issue to not be outgoing? Where are you getting that?

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  12. They're a sweet group of people. I found them very inclusive but I never became tight friends with them. If you just show up every 3 weeks like I did, you'll have the same experience as me. They are friendly but they all know each other on a deep personal level, and they probably have all inter-dated a lot (how else are you going to meet gay people?). It is always intimidating to not know a group of friends - this is not at all unique to GLOW. You have to suck it up and just go if you want to break in.

    If you want to make friends with GLOW, go every single week to at least one social event and make an effort to talk. You can also message the coordinator and mention you're new and a little wary because you don't know anyone there. The girl who heads it, I think named Emily or something is super nice and welcoming. If you want to be as tight as the main reoccurring group is, I suggest you actually volunteer. The people who make lasting friends are not just people who attend, but people who get *actually involved*. I hate being involved in things (the ugly truth) so I never did. But if it matters enough to you, just do it, and you'll probably thank yourself later. I still somewhat regret not trying harder.

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