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Updated on Monday, June 16

#19297

OMG: I usually don't let such things get me down, but now that I am officially the only single guy in my immediate friend group I'm finding it reasonably hard to deal with. In the two years I've been in Waterloo, I find it really hard to meet women. Especially since my faculty has a very high male to female ratio (math lol). I'm a social, fairly fit, and confident guy. What do I need to change?

28 comments

  1. stop caring so much women can smell desperation

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    1. Boo. It's hard to watch people enjoy their relationships and know you want one and not be able to get it. You can't tell someone to not care that they feel lonely. It's human nature to want to be with another person. And he's not necessarily desperate. He could just be tired of it. But not desperate.

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    2. I mean, you could realize that a relationship is a state of being and not the golden snitch.

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  2. If guys in engineering can get meet girls/get girlfriends, you need to rethink the reasons why you can't. (Hint: it's not because of your faculty or ratios.)

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  3. Stop looking and just be yourself. Women will come.

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  4. Get into the business of approaching random women. Do the following:

    Step One - Look like a winner

    1) Get some nice clothes that fit you.
    2) Get some help with your hygiene issues e.g skin, bad breath etc
    3) Invest in some swag like cool watch, nice cologne
    4) Workout and try to get into shape

    Step Two - Think like a winner

    1) Get rid of bitch thinking patterns like "oh i cant get laid because my program has no chicks etc etc"
    2) Fake confidence by smiling more and standing upright
    3) Try imitating your favorite ladies man in Hollywood. James Bond maybe?
    4) Stop taking women seriously and stop putting them on a pedestal. Stop being too nice to them and treat them like an exact equal.

    Step 3 - Take action

    1) Talk to chicks everywhere. Bus stop, line at timmies, server at starbucks etc
    2) Go hit up a night club and hit on women there. Women who frequent night clubs are usually not gf material but this is a great way to practice meeting women
    3) Join activities with more chicks. This is perhaps the best way to meet quality women.

    Don't take rejection seriously. Always play by the rules. Don't be afraid to be slightly creepy but never break the social norms too hard like a pervert. Google your problem to find some more info.

    Peace brah.

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    1. Please don't, please don't, please don't. There are too many of these types roaming those aforementioned places.

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    2. This isn't actually terrible advice.

      The first section is bullshit. Although that is the general, pop culture idea of what women find attractive there are a variety of looks that different girls enjoy. Don't change who you are (like go to the gym to try to get buff or change your style) if it's not your thing.

      The second section is pretty helpful. If you fake confidence for a bit and see how much it makes a different it can make you more confident. But again, ignore #3, and just be yourself. Take #4 seriously and remember girls are just people too. We're not scary monsters. Some might respond when you start up a normal conversation others won't. As long as you treat them as you would any other human being they'll respond in the ways one would.

      I don't see whats wrong with the rest at all. 4a needs to elaborate on what "these types" are because I don't see whats wrong with the majority of this. The best thing you can take from it is the last numbered point. Do activities where you're more likely to meet people, and girls, thats normal and natural and not at a bar. Plus if you're doing an activity together it gives you something to talk about.

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    3. Nightclubs, bars, hitting on girls, overdone. Plus PUA bullshit and street harassment.

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    4. ^Ok then give up and bury yourself in a hole. Don't go out, don't work on yourself, don't try to interact with people is your advice to this guy...pathetic.

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  5. Honestly, the problem is that you are looking for a relationship. I know this sounds cliche, but it always happens when you aren't looking.

    Another way to look at it is that you're thinking too much about having just any relationship, as opposed to having a great connection with a specific person who you like. You need to find a person first!

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  6. ok seriously the only advice you need is that you need to stop caring about being with someone. if you are happy on your own you'll be fine. finding a partner isn't about finding someone to fill a hole in your life, it's about having a good life that you enjoy and finding someone to share that with. if you think you need someone just because all of your friends are in relationships you aren't going to find what you're looking for.
    don't listen to the dude above me, women like to be taken seriously and bitch i am on a pedestal bc i'm hot and smart and if a dude can't recognize how great i am then he doesn't deserve me.
    meeting people at school is hard because for the most part people are there to focus on school. i think that's why students usually live in res first year (i didn't but i also haven't met very many people at school).


    but the most important thing is women can actually sense when you are desperate because that's when you tend to be the clingiest. if you aren't happy on your own then you rely on others to fulfill that happiness and tbh that's not what a partner's there for.

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    1. >bitch i am on a pedestal bc i'm hot and smart and if a dude can't recognize how great i am then he doesn't deserve me.

      Relationships aren't about one person working hard to "deserve" the other. I'm looking for a partner, not a guy who worships me day and night. That would get tiring very fast. If you still think you "deserve" anything, you should be looking for someone just as hot and smart as you.

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    2. 6a) yes that's what i meant! i look for people i think i deserve but i also want a partner who appreciates me and tells me. i don't want to be worshiped but i hate the mentality "DONT PUT THE PUSSY ON A PEDESTAL" dude i'm an adult i'm not about playing those hard to get games. if you think i'm hot and cool don't pretend you don't just cause you think it'll make me more interested.

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    3. lol i dont even

      i suppose i can tell you you're just a cushion for a fetus and apart from that, you can't offer me much more

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  7. women are but one of the optional things in life

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  8. Try online dating? ask to be set up with friends' gf's friends?

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  9. just grow balls...

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  10. As someone who just got out of a relationship, my advice is to just relax, stop looking and worrying and focus on improving yourself.

    I was in your shoes once. In fact, you could say that I am somewhat back in them, again! Lol I thought that I would be somewhat forever alone and would never be in a relationship. It wasn't until post secondary that I started a friendship with a girl that eventually let into a relationship. It didn't last long, (Girl had WAY too much baggage...), but that experience alone will last me for a long time. I won't deny, despite the breakup being one of the best life decisions that I ever made, I was pretty down about it like you. I really started to re-evaluate my life and wonder where do I go from here and why don't I get noticed. And then, it hit me...

    Yes, I know singledom can suck when your friends are bragging about their women, but the grass is always greener. I'm sure they all have moments when they need a break from their women and to just shoot the shit like there is no tomorrow. Besides, being single can be downright fun! What hit me was the fact that I am my own boss and my own leader, again. I could go out and about with my buddies bar hopping and have a hell of a time without the woman worrying about me. I could go out and about biking, walking or driving alone without her wondering where I am.

    But the biggest thing that really hit me was that in a way, being single again has given me a new lease on life. I am a hell of a lot more confident in my abilities now than ever before, and I’m going to take that bull by the horns. Singledom should be a way for you to improve on yourself, and let’s be honest, we can always improve on something in our lives. In a way, you actually remind me of an acquaintance that I have who worried WAY too much about being in a relationship because of a wish that her Grandpa wanted for her and her sister to be married while he was alive. For the love of God, please do not be like her. Hell, she was almost going to hit on me until she realized that I was in a relationship. Would I want to be with her? Hell to the no. I already stuck my dick in crazy once and I don’t need to do it, again.

    TL;DR - Just try to relax, stop worrying and focus on improving yourself. Que sera sera, my friend. You're going to be alright.

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  11. meanwhile all the girls im fucking are trying to get wifed up... so fucking annoying. It's your attitude towards them that needs to change. They want to tag along for your journey not be made the center of your world. Stop giving them so much attention they really aren't all that interesting...

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  12. People, stop. Holy crap. The guy's issue isn't that he's single, it's that all his friends aren't. I've been in this situation, and it sucks a bit, because people don't want to go out and do things as a result of their relationship commitments.

    The solution is not to find a date; the solution is to branch out your friends circle. Go meet people you can be social with. Easier said than done but it's the healthiest solution to the problem.

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  13. Enjoy it man. Enjoy your life.

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  14. Everyone needs to stop accusing OP of being desperate and that he's searching too hard for a relationship. He didn't say any of that. He could just be tired and frustrated watching all his friends do relationshippy things and feel left out. Its normal to want a relationship so stop telling him to not care. He's allowed to care and it's not a bad thing. He hasn't said what he's been doing for the past two years as far as relationships go so it's impossible to know if he's been laid back about the whole "search", meeting people and gauging connections with the girls he has met, or if he has, indeed, been desperate. Stop assuming everyone who is tired of being single is automatically desperate. Even if they're just frustrated doesn't mean it shows in their actions or conversations or standards.

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  15. You must be ugly

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    1. I feel differently.
      The guy is being honest and having the guts to share it with public. I actually have the same struggle. Reading all these comments along the way helped me a lot, except yours.

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