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Updated on Monday, June 9

#19259

OMG: So I'm going on a Tinder date and I've never had any one-night stand type thing before. If I go to the guy's house, how do I make sure I stay safe? Is it a safe thing to do? What if I plan on not taking it all the way and telling the guy that beforehand? Does that make it more dangerous?

29 comments

  1. Tell him to come to your place instead. Generally, I think this is what girls should do if they're wanting to hook up with a dude for the first time and they don't know him very well.

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  2. Ive been on many Tinder dates, but I always meet in a public place or at my house. And with any kind of date, its okay to say no if you are not comfortable.

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  3. 1. At some point before your date get some flirty texts going to set the mood and then playfully mention that you don't put out on the first date but you're a great kisser/blowjob artist/whatever

    2. Meet in a public place first

    3. Conduct a sanity check

    4. Go back to your place

    5. Success!

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    Replies
    1. "blowjob artist" - this poster clearly knows how to inflate titles on a resume

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  4. Meet in public, if you want probably have him back at your place.

    Let friends know what is happening (bring it up in conversation maybe "oh yeah gotta meet my friend tomorrow morning")

    I've never done this kind of dating before, but as a guy I'd prefer you asked me back to your place. Mine is a mess.

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  5. If you do decide to go to his place, make sure you give your friends his address and set a specific time that if you haven't texted them, they should phone the police.

    Personally, I would advise meeting in a public place first and going back to your place, but it's your call.

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  6. Bitch, you need 3 references and at least a job interview to work at Wal-Mart. Your body is more important than a job at Wal-Mart. Get at least 4 references (Facebook, friends of friends, get their vibe), and at least 4-5 dates / outings to get their vibe. And see where things go. Or some Chris Hansen shit is going to happen.

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    1. I really don't want to do stuff with a stranger 4-5 times just because I find them attractive. Why not just once? I have other friends I'd rather hang out with and lots of work and alone time/hobby time I need to take. And I don't want to make them think I'm trying to start a relationship. And what if they just want sex as well- then they might stop before that 4-5 date cutoff and then I'll just have wasted my time doing something I didn't even want to do. What would I notice after 4-5 dates that I can't in one?

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  7. Been on several Tinder dates that haven't ended up in horrible dates. Here's what I've done:

    First, meet up in public (Starbucks, Beertown, etc.) first so you can get a feel for the person. If he seems creepy or something, obviously, don't go with him. Easy peasy. If he does seem nice, or you want things to go further this is what I do:

    Give your friend an address, and have a time set up (before you even meet him). You should let the guy know that you have to text your friend by a certain time to let them know that your'e safe. We took it a step further and had a actual phrase that everything was good, and a 'fake' phrase that would mean call the police anyways (in case the tinder guy is a creep or something and was watching you text your friend).

    As an aside, I've also told guys that I don't want a one-night stand, and they were cool with that too.

    Honestly, biggest thing to remember is that if you feel uncomfortable, call a friend, or get out. You don't have to do anything you don't want to! :) Good luck, and have fun on your date!

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    Replies
    1. ^ not OP but this is such great advice!

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    2. I live alone, and before I head out for a grindr fuck (yeah, i'm gay - get over it) I leave a note at my house saying where I went and the name of the guy im meeting. That way, if I die - then someone can obviosuly go to my house and clear my stuff out they will know where I went before i mysteriously vanished.

      Then I come home and throw it out. I have not been murdered yet.

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  8. the more of these i read the more i conclude dating is a huge waste of time

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    1. Wait- why? I don't get it. Dating or hooking up?

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  9. I wouldn't just go to someone's place even though I am a guy i.e less vulnerable and all. The best way is to meet at a public place near the hookup location.

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  10. Just make sure you bring your own condoms in case the guy says he doesn't have any.
    (And make him wear it!)

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  11. I have roommates and paper thin walls and a twin size air mattress so I don't want to take him to my place. I guess I'll do the text a friend thing (although I'm already pretty sure he's a normal guy).

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  12. Maybe you shouldn't assume that all guys are rapists and murderers.

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    1. Omg totally! Hell, lets not assume all people have only our best interests at heart and not take any precautions ever. That way if even one of them is off, we're fucked...oh wait, you're dumb.

      I bet you post #people things.

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    2. Umm... Obviously I'm not assuming that all guys are rapists and murderers. Why would I even go out with someone who's I think is a rapist or murderer. I'm going out with them because I know that they are unlikely to be a rapist or murderer.

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  13. As a guy, I would take no offense to you texting or calling your friends just to tell them where you are/you are OK, even if we go back you your place. I understand that you might feel unsafe and I am cool with anything I can do to make you feel better about it.

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    1. 100% agreed. If anything I'd feel reassured that my date has a head on her shoulders. I know that's not the biggest priority for Tinder hookups but then I don't do those anyway so its all hypothetical in any case.

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  14. Up until 3 months into my relationship with my boyfriend, I still told my friends when I was out with him. I only stopped because he'll be the biggest suspect if something does happen to me as the long term boyfriend.

    I have a very trust-no-one attitude when it comes to dating

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    Replies
    1. You are fucked up and I feel sorry for him

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  15. Go somewhere sociable first like a bar or a cafe, so you can talk to him and see if he's a total nutcase or not, or if he's worth the romp. If you don't feel like you wanna do it at any point, just respectfully decline and leave as quick as you can. Although it might help if you're not in the bed by this point, makes it harder to leave.

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