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Updated on Sunday, May 18

#18131

OMG: I personally would not date someone unless I thought I would marry them.

39 comments

  1. Personally I think just going on a date with someone even if you don't see the greatest potential can be worthwhile. First impressions aren't always accurate and it can't hurt to go on a few dates just to see where things lead.

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  2. Wait until you get your heart broken, then you'll just go fucking everyone you want.

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  3. Good for you Glen koko, you go Glen koko! :P
    Glad to see someone with the same mindset as mine.

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  4. That's fine and dandy but how would you know if you want to marry someone before you date them? That's kinda the point of dating.

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    1. Physical attractiveness?

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    2. @7a: Definitely the best feature to decide whether you want to marry someone.

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    3. pre-existing friendship, discussion about culture, family, and future plans (if any)

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    4. You spend some time getting to know them. If there's any obvious red flags or something you know you won't be able to stand about this person, then it's a no go. Of course, this doesn't guarantee the relationship will work out, but it's a start, as opposed to sleeping with someone off the bat even though you know they have poor moral values.

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    5. A date doesn't have to end in sex. And going on multiple dates with someone doesn't meant you're planning on getting married with them. The point of dating is to get to know someone

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  5. you pathetic losers have no passion

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  6. I only date girls who cosplay

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    1. I only date girls who don't cosplay. They are the worst.

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  7. yes, the best plan for marriage is to go into it with no relationship experience (ie. no idea of what you actually like and want), no idea of what to expect from a good relationship vs a bad relationship, how you might feel in a good vs bad one, and a set of assumptions about what a good relationship is and what you want that you try to force a partner to fit because well, you went on one date with them so unless you marry them youve wasted your time.

    have a nice marriage pal!

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    1. This sounds pretty selfish.. so essentially, what you're saying is one must go through many relationships to know what will please oneself. Then when this is established, one will seek someone who has an adequate amount what you want, while, hopefully, fulfilling the partners needs as well. In the end, you just being needy and sucking off each other like leaches until it doesn't become adequate anymore, and your relationship either becomes dull or you break up and find someone else who will [temporarily] meet your needs. Not that any of this is conscious, though.. so there isn't anyone to blame. But perhaps you should wake up to the reality. This is how pretty much all of society functions, and it's futile.

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    2. ^ um, no. If you're not planning on getting married, you usually don't go into a relationship with "needs"... you're just doing it for kicks, after all. You'll end up figuring out what works and what doesn't work. And eventually you find a partner whose preferences match yours and goals match yours.

      Things you might not know about yourself before you're in a relationship:
      - what you desire in a person you share all your living space with
      - what intimate things work for you and what ones don't
      - what personality traits you find compatible and which ones you can't stand long-term

      Here is an example:
      - I'm fine with messiness but I can't stand it if she doesn't do dishes.
      - I don't like it when he goes down on me, I want more foreplay. I need sex three times a week minimum to be happy.
      - I can't stand a partner who doesn't have a backbone. He needs to assert his needs, especially about the little things.

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    3. I dont get why the idea that a relationship where people use each other for mutual happiness and shared growth is so bad? Someone help me out here? Didnt realize someone was a monster selfish person in a futile world for expecting the people theyre with to teach them something and make them happy and to hppe they do the same, regardless ofhow long they are together? My bad. I guess all you other people whos plan it is to stay together forever bc thats the only real relationship are right-all that matters is stayig together and not whether or not youre happy. Traditional 60s family life! I hope i even stop having sex early on too, seems selfish. Sex is gross and selfish unless you see babies in the future w that person.

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    4. 10.c - it's not bad.. It's just how it is for many people. If that's what you want, I say have at it.. But it's important to investigate for yourself. First off, there really is not such thing as permanent 'happiness,' so when people look for happiness in objects, it's to get that short-lived high. So if one seeks to fulfill their desires, and become happy, the are just trying to fill a void that will never be filled. Perhaps temporarily it may feel like it's filled, but sooner than later, you will feel the need for something again, and fulfill that desire. Tie that into relationships and selfishness,, I would rather make you contemplate it than me tell you. I can't tell you what to believe, and that would be pointless, because you wouldn't see the reality for yourself.

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  8. I did the same.

    I have no interest in dating someone that I see no long term future with. I will go on a couple of dates to get to know the person, and if I don't think it will last, I don't go on any further ones. But I have found most people with this philosophy end up dating a friend or someone they know a bit about first.

    I like talking about important topics on the first dates. I want to know you. I want to know your morals, fears, beliefs, dreams. I want to know what your thoughts are on kids, marriage, gender roles in relationships. I did this on the first date with a wonderful man and we are now married and very happy.

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  9. I have no intention of getting married but I'm all for being in a monogamous relationship. I avoid guys who I can't see myself dating for a couple years.

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  10. i on the other hand, would not marry someone unless i thought i would date them

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  11. i agree that i wouldnt date someone if i didnt have long term intentions, but marriage is just a societal status. It doesn't matter if you're married or not. Its just officiated on a piece of paper. it doesnt mean its happily ever after. if u date someone and u want to be in a relationship with them for a long time, its not all going to change when u get married...

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    Replies
    1. Of course it would change, there would be less sex. Everyone knows that ;)

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    2. It won't change....unless your partner gets into a serious car crash, say, and even though you've been together for forever, you have no visitation rights or choice in medical decisions. But I suppose if both of you planned on absolutely never getting into medical disasters rendering you unable to make medical decisions, then yes I suppose marriage really is just a piece of paper.
      (insert same scenarios here for the other benefits of marriage)

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  12. Tell someone you want to marry them on the first date and see how long that goes.

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  13. I'm considering that these days as I'm now 30 and single (split from a 6 year relationship 2 years ago)

    I'm more worried about another long term relationship that ends in my late 30's and then once again I'm looking for someone in my 40's. Gotta find someone sooner or later, right?

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    1. why do you have to?

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    2. ^loneliness? insignificance? Its all well and good to live your life for yourself but eventually you realize that the only way to really matter is to matter to someone else. Its because in the end we're all insignificant. The only significance you can really attain is having another sentient being look you in the eyes and tell you that you matter.

      So yeah, find someone.

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    3. 16.b: begging the question at its finest

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    4. you're 30 and you're on omguw...WAT

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  14. True love looks good only in movies. In real life, it's pretty rare & gets harder as we grow up. I know for a fact that I will never experience the love that I did with my high-school sweetheart, & I've made my peace with it.

    You need to experience relationships before you make a life changing decision like marriage. If you think "I will know when he's the one", you are setting yourself up for failure.

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  15. Jokes on you, you're never gonna marry anyone.

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  16. I don't date people who I wouldn't *consider* getting married to. There's no way to know if someone is right for you before dating, but there sure are ways to know if they're absolutely not marriage material.

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