OMG UPDATE: Like us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter to get updates on updates!

Updated on Thursday, May 1

#18085

OMG: I feel like now that society has shifted towards more liberal views on relationships, they have become more difficult. This shift, coupled with globalization, and the new trend of traveling to school and continuing your education, as well as traveling in general, has lead to a rough road when the idea of settling down becomes apparent.

The liberal views have given people the ideal that they can wait and wait and only choose the most perfect of mate. Though I believe that waiting is a positive thing and can lead to stronger relationships, it also leads to slower procreation, and a more difficult time for those that just want someone to love. Religion has also become less significant in the general public eye. With less religious following, the standard marriage has become more distant. This has lead to less couples even viewing marriage as an option, let alone children or monogamous relationships.

I've also noticed that distance caused by globalization has made it more difficult to find a partner. I may crush hard on a girl (and am currently), but See future distance as a road block and so never make a move. This is quite a depressing situation to be in. It's also deterring in that it makes the person present in the situation feel like there is less hope to ever have a relationship. With the unsure future movement and possibility of never really settling down, how does one find that relationship?

My unsettling thoughts of the night.

20 comments

  1. Don't over think it. Take chances. Work for it. It's actually pretty simple.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In the situation where you may be very far apart from eachother, do you still think that the relationship is simple? Or even worth putting the other person through?

      Delete
  2. ^ What 1 said. Ask out people you're interested in. If it doesn't work long term, it was a summer fling (or whatever). Move from a viewpoint of scarcity to abundance; there are many people who you might be compatible with, so stop to experience these people, instead of hoping for the perfect person right away.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OP here: To clarify, I wasn't hoping for the perfect person. This was more of a, "I'm leaving and don't want to put this person through a long distance relationship if they actually are interested in me."

      Delete
  3. You miss the chances you don't take. Failure along the way is just a way to reshape who (and what) you're really looking for.

    I went for it even though I didn't see long-term potential (starting a long-distance relationship). Still in contact and, although the relationship did break down due to lack of physical interaction, I at least have a close friend where potential still exists if circumstances change.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OP Here: So basically, your result indicates that people should just step back and avoid the long distance relationship and go for friendship instead.

      Delete
  4. I know what you mean OP. I'm also crushing hard on another person. But I leave for co-op next week, the other person doesn't. That's what stopped me from doing something about it.

    ReplyDelete
  5. too much thinking, less doing what is right for you.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I feel this way about someone who's currently in the States right now (so the only kind of relationship we would be able to have is long distance).

    It's hard to decide what my feelings are at the moment. I don't expect her to "wait for me" and I want her to be happy, and at the same time, I'm not actively looking for a relationship. If I wanted a relationship, it would be with her, and since that's not an option at the moment, I'm focusing on some other goals in life (career, meeting new people, developing good friendships etc).

    It does kind of feel like I'm stuck in a limbo. Sometimes I wonder what she is thinking, what her take is on all this. Does she want me to let her go, or would she rather try and pursue the relationship and risk it failing?

    ReplyDelete
  7. This is only an issue if you assume that everyone is in the same place you are. They aren't and that's alright. This isn't a new things, this isn't a issue, and it doesn't have anything to do with liberal views of relationships. If anything, people being liberal opens up SO many doors that used to be tightly shut.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. With female perspective shifting to a more selective, "equal" (feminism?), view.. Wouldn't this also contribute to difficulty finding relationships? Because the female doesn't need to settle on their highschool sweetheart anymore. Doesn't need to find someone, and if they make them happy *enough* they will stay with them. The perspective is becoming more of a "I will find the best person, even if I need to go through 10 half-decent people before him!"

      Delete
    2. It seems like this is a problem for those people who want the perfect love NOW! Or those who want others to settle for them. In either case, too bad.

      Delete
  8. 1 nailed it. OP you sound like a real smart person and your brain's got in the way of your fulfillment. Been there, missed out for a while.

    You bring up a lot of global problem trends. You don't need to solve this for the world or see a path for the next many years before you even start.

    A fine match who you think is stuck in place may choose to move far for you, or move with you around an apparent roadblock by a way you can't see. Maybe you'll both move to a third place.

    Take chances. Now I'm repeating ^what 1 - the fuckingly succinct genius - said.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I do my best. (^_^)d

      Delete
  9. Wtf did I just read.

    > liberal

    You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.


    Not having children is a responsible, informed choice. I don't understand why you're looking down on people who don't want kids, other than as a projection of your own preferences. If you think historical relationships were all monogamous and a bouquet of roses, you really should study up on your anthropology. Monogamous relationships are a standard enforced upon women to ensure their children really belong to the stated sire. Monogamous has hardly been a historical standard for relationships.

    Your lack of relationship game is your own fault. No one is stopping you from making a move. The hesitation you feel is completely internalized. If the relationship has a potential to be longer term and more serious, distance is not going to stop that. If anything, it helps you prioritize.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey there,

      I think we may be looking at what I wrote quite differently, causing a slight misunderstanding between us. You've started that I'm looking down on those not looking to have children, but I was merely staying that there is an apparent delay. A lot of what I wrote only loosely chains together, as much of it was a late night ramble of various thoughts I had on how relationships currently appear to be handled and played out. From observations of my own I've seen a large increase in time before monogamous relationships occur.

      I realize that it is my own issue, in regards to the distance. I did not want to draw this to my own personal situation, but merely provide an example of the increasing difficulty relationships face given larger distanced migration patterns of human beings.

      Last I'll address your question about my use of liberal. In my case I was using it akin to "something not conservative".




      Delete
  10. If anything, globalization only makes makes long distance relationships easier. If you really like someone, the distance would not be a problem, you would be willing to make sacrifices for them and work things out. Just saying.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I agree it is liberalism and globalization's fault you can't find a partner

    ReplyDelete
  12. It's John Locke's fault.

    ReplyDelete