OMG: I didn't know the recession affected OMGUW posts.

OMG: I'm a good friend to have around if you like having things organized, but don't like to do it. I would like to organize your closet, I get bored of my own stuff. I would be happy as a librarian.

OMG: Out of respect, I would typically never have sex at my boyfriend's house while his parents are there, but his mother's such a bitch to me, I don't give a shit anymore.

OMG: Some really uppity bitch in my class was arguing in WEEF with the TAs and everyone else in there about how she doesn't think anyone should drink. She got so mad about it that she was escorted out and taken on a walk to "cool off" - she's in university and got a time out. She never realized that everyone was making fun of her and that we all wish she was on a different stream because she's a stress ball and makes life a little bit worse for everyone. When she asked "why would anyone want to drink" I wanted to yell: "You. I want to drink because of people like you." I hope she reads this and learns to STFU at help sessions because we all came there to work, not get verbally assaulted by her.

OMG: I'm moving back into residence and over the winter I turned 19. I don't know the policy on alcohol in rez; we had a sweet don so it was never an issue. Enlighten me?

OMG: I'm a female and I actually don't enjoy having orgasm. It's too intense sometimes.

OMG: I was at the gym today and I accidentally left my towel on a bench I was using. When I went back and got it I wiped the sweat off my face, only then to realize that I grabbed the wrong towel.

OMG: My boyfriend broke up with me over msn, and I was really pissed. I really wish I'd saved that conversation. I know I said something about an octopus, but I can't imagine what.

OMG: Today is my last day on co-op, so I'm spending it like every other day: on OMGUW, failblog and engrish.

OMG: Drunk girls are my favourite form of entertainment. Keep it up DBs!

OMG: I had to phone Telehealth Ontario because a girl I didn't even know was really drunk and really sick. Arlene, the nurse, then made me feel like I had just murdered a puppy because I didn't let her call an ambulance.

OMG: I "forget" my Watcard at home now because I'm the only one of my friends with money on it still, and I'm sick of paying for everything.

OMG: I "forget" my watcard at home now because I'm the only one of my friends with money on it still, and I'm sick of paying for everything.

OMG: It was either going to be the best orgasm I ever had, or I was going to shit myself. I played it safe and made him stop.

OMG: I took nude pictures of myself in different classrooms today. It was quite liberating.

OMG: My girlfriend and I have more anal than vaginal sex. It is the best.

OMG: Its weird to see profs out in the real world. I thought they just disintegrated when they left campus.

OMG: I'm living in a small town, many hours away from civilzation for the next 4 months. Forced celibacy is a bitch.

OMG: I'm 22 and haven't met a single guy at UW and I start my 5th year in September. Where do all the guys hang out?

OMG: I wish the OMGs were updated much more frequently. I am desperate for the unhappiness and the misery of others, especially when they are fat, ugly, virgin and/or dumped.

OMG: My life feels meaningless when 3 days pass with no new OMG's!

OMG: I just failed every single class I had this term, and I have no idea what I'm supposed to do.

OMG: I can't find a job. I am going to spend my summer playing Neopets.

OMG: Grades are posted on Quest today. Fuck.

OMG: I haven't seen my parents since Christmas. Shortly after arriving home one of the first things my Mom asks is "So how many girls did you get with during co-op?"

OMG: I really think the purpose of a 'NG' mark is just to make all students nervous. Why bother entering NG if it's still in process and not available? Why not just leave it blank? Argh!

OMG: On the drive home in Toronto, I realized that everyone in the city looks younger to me. Thank you UW.

OMG: I saw a girl get arrested outsider her apartment building on Keats the other day. It was probably one of the more exciting things I`ve seen on/near campus in the past 8 months.

OMG: I PASSED!

OMG: Busiest term ever = best grades ever. I don't get it.

OMG: I ride my mom's bike because mine got stolen off campus in first year. My mom won't let me put a milk rack at the back of her bike, or park it anywhere. I'm at student. The kicker? She hasn't used the bike in four years.

OMG: My BF who's still in Alberta turned off his phone without warning for about four hours. I assumed he was at a strip club with some friends, and lost it a little, just because he didn't warn me and I would be ok with it anyway. It turns out they were playing Dungeons and Dragons.

OMG: I'm in engineering, and my boss has me FILING.

MOD'S NOTE: Suck it up princess.

OMG: On my way home I started reading my Organic Chem textbook for next year because I felt the need to fill the empty void created by leaving UW.

OMG: To the girl with the alluring blue eyes, awesome fuzzy gloves, and giant backpack, every morning I get up the courage to say hi, the iXpress always comes. Next time i make eye contact, I'll at least try to smile.

OMG: Why do you submit my final mark to Quest without submitting my exam mark to ACE? If you thought I could figure it out on my own, you're wrong — I failed calculus.

OMG: To the guys who whore the stage at Bomber every Wednesday, if only your game was as tight as your moves.

OMG: I wrote an OMGUW and it got a shitty rating plus no comments. I also checked my grades tonight and they too suck. Why is it that everything I write turns to shit.

OMG: I'm still here in Waterloo and I just realised that the gym closes at 4:30 pm every day until the weekend where they're completely closed. I'm at work during the times they're open. This is devastating.

OMG: Do many females watch porn?

OMG: Marks are released in 5 minutes and all I've been doing for the last half hour is refreshing my Quest page

OMG: Shut the fuck up and listen to me. Talk with me, not at me. Respond to what I say. That's how a conversation works. Seriously.

OMG: CNN has been talking non stop about the dangers of water boarding. Until yesterday, I thought it was like water skiing and didn't understand the fuss.

OMG: Undeclawed cats are like abusive boyfriends: they yell at you for not giving them food right away, yet it's another 5 years until you consider getting a new one because you have HIS best interests in mind.

OMG: Why don't people talk about how hot the Turnkeys are anymore? We are pretty vain, you know.

OMG: I was driving down Columbia street and saw a dead Canada Goose on the side of the road and laughed out loud. Then I realized, Waterloo has made me a cruel person.

OMG: I fucking hate my hometown. My life does NOT belong here. The only reason why I'm not moving away is because I'm too poor to live away from home.

OMG: I'd love to see OMG UW have a poll of 'how many courses did you fail this term?' just for the heck of it. I always see so many OMGs revolving around people saying they're not going to make the grade.

OMG: I am not writing a school assignment! Why are people care so critical about OMG spelling mistakes? Get over it, I type fast, I realize that I have some mistakes and I don't care!

OMG: A guy on my floor filed an incident report with the Don, claiming someone snuck into his room and pissed in all his clothes drawers. He was the only person in the room that night. He was also drunk as hell.

OMG: I wish my girlfriends didn't turn into sluts when they get drunk.

OMG: I left my windows open all day, not suspecting rain until later this evening when I got home. I came home to a flooded corner of my room and all my electronics soaked and destroyed.

OMG: Exams are over and I just turned on the TV to watch the only staticky channel we have. The first thing I saw was an infomercial for something called "HD vision wrap around" sunglasses. I'm getting cable next term.

OMG: Overheard on the street at about 11:30 on a Friday night:

Girl 1: "I just want to let him know I really like him, you know?"
Girl 2: "Well say something like nice to him...like 'I want to feel you in between my thighs' or something."
Girl 1: "Hmmm..."

OMG: I bought a box of 12 Alphonso mangoes today for 22 bucks. These are supposedly the best mangoes ever, yet I feel iffy about spending so much on a box of fruit.

OMG: : I only got a motorcycle license and a bike because there's no room to park another car at my house.

OMG: I'm the only person left in my building in rez and it's soo lonely and creepy!

OMG: :I am going to miss eating sandwiches outside the SLC while being attacked by the bees and smelling some geese shit on the side this summer.

OMG: Are guys really this stupid? Do they really think were gonna buy there lies and made up professions and sleep with them? Why don't they just say "Hi", and talk about normal things?

OMG: Even though I know I'm going to see them in subsequent terms, I always get sad saying goodbye to all my friends after exams are over. It's especially hard when one of them I like more than I probably should. I went to say bye to him twice last night and both times I was too shy to show how I felt

OMG: Why do the grades come out three days *after* the last exam date? I'm on vacation starting Monday and won't have access to the internet unless I go for a terminal at the airport

OMG: I saw a man smiling to himself, sitting on a bench in the sunshine near DC. He was reading a small, red, cloth-bound book, and I was pleased and cheered by this immeasurably - even if my day was crap, look at how much other people are enjoying the sunshine! Wow! An fun book to read, the sun on your face... Lovely.
I was curious as to what could so ensnare this cute guys attention and as I walked past I casually glanced down to see... mathematical equations. Page upon page of mathematical equations. I think my soul shriveled and died a bit on seeing that. Only at UW.

OMG: Am I really the only one who tries to post positive and motivating OMGs? Share love and peace!

OMG: I was in Mel's last night. This drunk girl walked in whose bra was popping out of her dress, and whose boobs were popping out of her bra. What's the etiquette in that situation? On one hand, it's probably inappropriate to yell, "Hey! You're popping out!" across Mel's. On the other hand, it'd probably be less embarrassing than going home and THEN discovering you showed everyone your areola.

OMG: The best part about sex is the smell.

OMG: To the people who just bought three cases of iced tea and two grocery bags full of other drinks at the SLC Tim Hortons: Is that really necessary? Why are you so thirsty?

OMG: It scares that I feel like crying because I'm leaving UW for the summer. How the hell did that happen?

OMG: I keep having this recurring nightmare that I failed all of my exams.

OMG: I'm sick of the generic loud-person-in-library and guys-don't-like-me OMG UW posts. Seriously people; make my procrastination worthwhile!

OMG: Sometimes, I wonder what is it like to be straight.

OMG: The best prof I ever had was one who doesn't have his PhD. Nobody could make computer science more interesting, this man has passion!

OMG: Hello Kitty is neither cute, a fashion statement, nor a cute fashion statement.

OMG: I can't take a course during my co-op term because my average is below 80%. My department has the most asinine policies.

OMG: All of my sexual intercourse experiences were one night stands.

OMG: Why are half the people I know who own Mac books pretentious douche bags?

OMG: today, instead of studying for my last final. I plan on reading all the OMG UWs that I have missed, as well as FML. Then I will moderate the FMLs for a while and perhaps move on to youtube afterwards. One day left. Fuck it.

OMG: I am a prof.

OMG: To the guy at the Turnkey desk that tried to help me find out more about the yard sale tomorrow: thank you. Thank you so much for trying so hard. I keep hearing awful things about the employees there, and you impressed me. Your hard work does not go unnoticed.

OMG: When I see OMGs with no comments, it's like a sad, abandoned puppy: I feel bad, but I don't want to help.

OMG: I keep on squeezing my (male) nipples during exam to stimulate myself. It feels really good.

OMG: While moving out, I realized that I have 7 pairs of shoes and a pair of slippers here in Waterloo, but I don't even have a frying pan.

OMG: I was returning from a sales call with my co-op boss, when he felt the need to give me some "valuable" sales tips. He got angry at me for not looking at him in the eyes when he is "coaching" me. We were going 140 down the 401 in rush hour traffic. Thank you for endangering my life, Jobmine.

OMG: Seat saving at DC is uncool during exam time. Next time I need a spot and your cubicle has one textbook unopened with a piece of paper and scattered pens, you will find your stuff outside.

OMG: I was just quickly watching porn on my laptop at the library with my headphones on, but they were really low, so I turned the volume all the way up. Turns out I plugged my headphones in the wrong plug and I was blasting porn in the library.

OMG: I was shocked when I met my roommate's family for the first time today. It was kinda obvious that her mom had a different baby daddy for each of her kids. She has 5, not including my roommate.

OMG: My friend stole one of the geese warning signs from the front of the SLC at night. The geese got their revenge when she stepped in a giant pile of goose shit immediately afterward.

OMG: I got 55% on my final paper worth 50% of my mark for one of my classes. I am a Speech Comm major. My Prof's comment on the paper; "I wish I could understand you better. I think I see a couple good points."

OMG: I'm in 2nd year and I'm dropping out of university for a bit to live the modern day bohemian lifestyle. I just can't see myself being 22 and entering the work force. My classmates are being very condescending because of my decision.

OMG: To the 'rubenesque' girl with the poorly dyed red hair at DP. Yeah, you. The one always smoking. The best part about the term ending is not hearing your irritating laugh. Good riddance.

OMG: I was reading a OMGUW post and actually lol-ed. In my room. Alone.

OMG: The lady that works in The Atrium in St. Jerome's is such a rude bitch. I try to have a happy face so that she is nicer, but no dice. I say hi to her and she doesn't reply back. I wish there was a customer feedback form somewhere there, because I'd be the first filling it out.

OMG: Peace out waterloo! I'm finally done, now give me my useless piece of paper.

OMG: My girlfriend can't tell when I'm grumpy and it makes me miss my ex-girlfriend so much more. I think I may still be in love with her.

OMG: It's amazing how wide of a range our species intelligence has. We have people who research the depths of space and we have people on MTV who plan their birthday.

OMG: Now that school is done, I have this empty void in me.

OMG: Why is it that I can never get a guy to stay interested in me? I don't think I'm that ugly or boring, and it's really starting to annoy me.

OMG: Is it sad that I'm actually considering calling the helpline listed in the sidebar?

OMG: I read 1528 OMGs today on Co-op.

OMG: I find it really annoying when accounting students say "I'm in AFM. Not Arts."

OMG: I think it's funny that there are so many keyboard warriors on this site. None of you would even say a fifth of the things you say on here in person.

OMG: I really enjoy having explosive diarreah on the day of my exam. Not cool.

OMG: I'm at my co-op today wearing dress pants with a broken button. Normally it's fine because my belt covers the missing button and holds up my pants. My belt broke and is now held together by duct tape. I have my student evaluation meeting with my boss in an hour.

OMG: I still watch Arthur on TVO Kids, and I'm 21.

OMG: I like procrastinating by reading news on the BBC, because I can read them to myself in a British accent.

OMG: I was told by my boss to get rid of a surplus in the budget, lest it get cut for next year. Looks like the new co-op student is getting a new 8GB ram macbook pro, a thousand dollar desk, and a 400 dollar chair. You're welcome.

OMG: My boss calls the other co-op "your little buddy."

OMG: My residence next-door neighbour kept me up 'till 3am chatting loudly with her friends, as she has 4 nights a week all year. This morning she was gone, her was door open with a bunch of garbage and shit left inside. So, this morning while I was packing, I moved my old, very heavy tv stand into her room and locked her door. I hope they charge her to move it out.

OMG: I don't understand why everyone makes a big deal about the geese in waterloo. Why doesn't anyone talk about the squirrels? They're insane as hell too. They pop of of the dumpsters and cut people with glass.

OMG: I get excited at work when my boss gives me 40 pages of data entry.

OMG: Quote from FB: University of Waterloo - Registrar's Office "Hi Dave: That is wierd...have him forward the the e-mail to registra@uwaterloo.ca and we can help him sort it out." Wow. Even the registrar just failed its EPLE.

OMG: I love the Jobmine matching system. Who doesn't want to get stuck with a job that sucks so much that the employers had to lie in the description to make it sound appealing?

OMG: I think people in that new knowledge integration program are kidding themselves, who is going to give them a job when their degree means nothing?

OMG: I'm out of here. 5 years of Waterpoo is finally over.

OMG: I use Google Reader to read OMG UW because I don't want to miss out on a single OMG. Google Reader is currently showing 9 unread OMGs and it's driving me crazy because I can't find any of them!

OMG: I'm really interested in how many profs actually read OMG UW and what they think of it.

OMG: I wish someone would do a Missed Connections for me.

OMG: When I check Quest for marks, I carefully scroll down the page, cover the text with a piece of paper and slowly reveal the ones digit, then the tens digit.

OMG: :There are moans and screams and giggles coming from my roommate's room. I am very distracted.

OMG: Rummaging through comments on OMG UW has made me believe there are more jerks and rude people attending this school than I originally thought. It's making me even more resilient to socializing with people.

OMG: Do you ever smell something and cant decide whether to be repulsed or not because it smells like food but could also be fart?

OMG: I starve in Waterloo so I go back to Toronto skinny. I have never felt so good in my life.

OMG: I went to the bathroom to pee, and right after I sat down to start my business, the toilet automatically flushed. It scared the crap out of me, so I let out a shriek/yelp. I stayed quiet to see if there was anyone else in the bathroom, and I heard nothing so I thought I was in the clear. Once I opened the stall, there was a janitor staring at me.

OMG: I turned on my laptop this morning, and was welcomed by a blank screen. Turns out my hard drive had crashed, I have an exam tomorrow night with all of my notes from class and from the textbook on there. Aside from all the other important stuff like pictures and what not, I lost everything. My prof doesn't use UW ACE, oh, and my exam is worth 60%. I love life.

OMG: Everytime I look up a stupid site or procrastinate, I punish myself by doing 20 pushups. Who says work reports are all bad?

OMG: Today is Earth Day. Sadly, a part of me still refuses to give up the idea that global warming doesn't exist and that this is simply natural. Stupid conspiracy theories.

OMG: I haved worked for the city, the university, and even RIM, and let me tell you all right now: Being nice goes a long way! Start with a smile, an excuse me and you triple your chances of getting what you want.

OMG: I love when I find out who wrote OMGs.

OMG: How much money do the girls at this school have? Waiting for an exam to start in the PAC I saw a girl with a Prada bag and one with a Burberry bag. That's enough money to buy my groceries for a year.

OMG: I hurt my hand today and all I could think about was how I was gonna jack off.

OMG: Why the fuck is Waterloo calling my house to ask my parents to donate money? Since when did they become a charity?

OMG: To the boy doing handstands outside of the Dana Porter: 1) know that people can see you. 2) Thank you for bringing joy to my studying. 3) Next time I would appreciate a more appropriate underwear attire.

OMG: I think sleeping with my prof would be less traumatic then writing my final tomorrow. We are both straight males and I'm willing to take a 50% final mark.

OMG: I told my friend that I like cheetos. He told me I'd love to sniff his ass.

OMG: I made a chain out of used staples. It's over a 18 inches long. Thanks co-op.

OMG: I just was notified that I failed my ELPE exam. The best part of this is that the only language
I speak is english, and I have an A- average.

OMG: A bird must have got stuck in the HVAC system at my work. Now the lunchroom smells like really strong goat's cheese.

OMG: Today I was walking by the green house and rancid smelling black smoke was coming out of the sewer. Good thing its not earth day.

OMG: I was making mac & cheese for lunch today. My roommate is lactose intolerant, so I went to grab the carton of soymilk in the fridge. I mixed my macaroni with an identical container of beef bouillon.

OMG: I love the University of Waterloo. Mainly because it makes me realize how much better the rest of the world is.

OMG: Why do people have to smell so good? It's so distracting to be walked past and left with that amazing and indescribable scent lingering in the air.

OMG: I told a girl I loved her, and she said that's nice, then she walked away.

OMG: Whenever I try to think of the name of the rock garden by MC, I always think Russell Peters first and then just reverse the name. And I always giggle at the school spirit tombstone when I see it.

OMG: Friends and I were talking about how we always leave our parking permits in the machines for the next person to use. We see a white van driving up as we're leaving the lot so we were going to give it to them directly. While in the middle of asking the guys whether or not they want our parking permit, we notice they're from parking services.

OMG: I talk to myself ALL the time.

OMG: Missed Connections on OMGUW, I can't wait! It will probably be the best thing since bottled beer.

OMG: My roommate hates me. I've been trying to be nice and I offer to do things together all the time but she keeps rejecting me. Should I just take the hint and give up?

OMG: I've smoked more pot in the two days since I finished my exams than I did in all of the winter term.

OMG: My debit card was 'skimmed' today. Funny thing is, the last few times I used it were at my bank.

OMG: Engineering men the odds are good but the goods are odd. Arts women the odds are goods but the goods are odd. Solution: head to AHS or Laurier.

OMG: I’m always hoping I see you the next day. My biggest fear is finding out that you won’t be around for the summer term.

OMG: I love my boyfriend but I am not physically attracted to him, there is no sexual tension or sexual anything between us. The sex is okay but I feel like something is missing. We have been together for almost 10 months now and I don’t know what to do.

OMG: I'm painting my nails at work. I hope no one smells it.

OMG: I am on a Greyhound bus right now, and they have both power outlets and wireless internet. The first website I chose to browse to? This one.

OMG: Do people actually "pick-up" at CIF? I've read so many OMG posts about some hot guy/girl they saw working out. If so, how about some tips?

OMG: I left my notes for ME 538 in a room and its gone. Turns out I had no problem studying without them. Theres a lesson in there.

OMG: I saw a girl pick her nose at DC today. She went to town.

OMG: I am not normally afraid or weirded out by bugs, but I just killed a three inch centipede in my kitchen and now I feel all tingly.

OMG: Have you ever had such extreme hickey-age that notable bruising developed? If you have, you know that such war wounds attract a lot of attention and staring. Currently, I am branded with hickeys of this nature - they are located right on the cleave.

OMG: I love the signs posted in front of the round-glass atrium in the SLC that reads: "CAUTION! Nesting Geese May Attack! PLEASE USE ALTERNATE ENTRANCE."

OMG: People always complain their OMGs don't get posted. From my observations of this site, the best thing to do is proofread your submission, -- the grammar of these 'candid' posts seems a little too poslished for me. That's just an English & Rhet. major's observation. I'm the one with the Woody Allen glasses.

OMG: When I was writing exam in the PAC this guy next to me decided to pull out several handful of assorted pens and mechanical pencils. I think he is trying to show off to the TA, but they ignored him anyway. He ended up pulling out approximately 70 pens all lined up on the desk. I tried to count them, but when I got to 50, he started to put the blue ones back, then black ones. He ended up putting most of them back right after taking them out, leaving about 25 pens on the table. He finished the exam early too.

OMG: I probably told you about this website.

OMG: Waterloo is so fucking boring. All we have in this city are clubber douchebags, nerdy asians, and the crowd at Phil's. Where are all the hipsters?

OMG: I really dislike the way people talk down about the ES faculty. There are some smart people that actually care about the environment.

OMG: I thoroughly enjoy the grotesque, racy, and vulgar graffiti in the bathroom stalls.

OMG: You live at my house, not your boyfriend. I don't hate him but I do hate seeing him all the time.

OMG: I declined a girl and ran out on her because I was parked in one of the reserved spaces by MKV and V1. She was pretty good looking, but damn, I didn't want to pay a $30 parking ticket.

OMG: I've got a class whose course notes (printed by Pixel Planet) are illegible. Good effort, UW.

OMG: I'm spending the rest of the workday on LOLcats.

OMG: My co-op job has literally nothing for me to do. I kill time looking for split ends in my hair and cutting them off with my fancy scissors.

OMG: Whenever I see an OMG starting off with "my boyfriend is an engineer" my heart skips a beat as I'm evaluating if it looks like something my girlfriend would write.

OMG: I'll just have to reconcile the fact that my boyfriend likes Nickelback.

OMG: I'm on co-op and just got a raise. I have 8 more days. They're dumb, but okay, I'll take it.

OMG: I told my friend to grow up and he started crying. Case in point.

OMG: As a polite favour to your schoolmates and the custodial staff, when you take everything home with you for the day from the library cubicles, also please have the decency to brush all of your hair off the table-top. Ewww, people. Thanks.

OMG: Why the fuck do people need to use mothballs? My whole residence floor stinks because of you. Moths are NOT gonna eat your clothes, and even if they did you will earn enough money to get new ones so stop using that shit.

OMG: I can't believe I forgot yesterday was April 20th.

OMG: I laughed really hard this morning with the Daily Bulletin had an OMGUW quote in it. This shit just got real.

OMG: I've no clue if I'm going to even pass this term, but I'm just glad to nearly be done.

OMG: :I wanted to procrastinate so I watched a show online and ended up balling alone in my room cause it was sad. I feel like an idiot and it didn't help me get any less depressed about my last two exams.

OMG: I went to the Bomber dressed for the 80s dance. The 80s dance was at Fed Hall.

OMG: I'm so fed up with loud people in the library that I've resorted to walking up to their table, stopping and creepily staring them down until they're like WTF and quiet down a bit - it works, usually.

OMG: I just saw a redhead wearing woody allen glasses. I think I'm in love.

OMG: UW is sexist. The male to female washroom ratio is rediculous. There are very few female washrooms available, especially in the engineering buildings (CPA, DWE). I have resorted to being "willfully blind". So if you see a short italian broad using the men's washroom, just smile and ignore my presence.

OMG: I'm doing my own taxes for the first time in my life and I'm scared shitless.

OMG: I think I am only in engineering because its prestigious, not because I actually enjoy the course material. I think I would be much happier if I switched to arts.

OMG: How big of a turnoff is it to find out that a girl doesn't shave her nether regions?

OMG: Am I the only person who's waiting until she's married to do it?

OMG: To the girl in the electric blue pants at Phil's Sunday night - hot girl, sexy moves. Maybe next time I'll say what's up.

OMG: My boyfriend has never given me an orgasm. I wish he would just go down on me already.

OMG: My favourite thing to do in the world is pick up garbage, elementary school earth day style. However, it was all ruined when I found a goat's foot one time.

OMG: This girl came up to me at the bar. She said:" You look really hot for an Asian guy". I seriously don't understand what she meant by that.

OMG: You know you go to Waterloo when your prof's English is so bad that even the exam questions barely make sense. Thanks for not proofreading, jackass.

OMG: I just witnessed a goose hit the telephone wire outside my window. And a goose attack someone outside SLC. Gotta love Waterloo.

OMG: The spring poo smell is getting worse, I just saw 2 people on King St with gas masks on.

OMG: My Boyfriend is an engineer. We haven't been on a date since we met.

OMG: The professor of a ridiculously disorganised and hypocritical online course that I'm taking posted on the discussion board postponing our assignment marks for the Nth time, with a huge typo on the word "assignment". This course emphasises professionalism, proofreading, and ethos. Our final exam is over and still no marks. A fellow student replied the prof's post with: "Hello Professor, I just wanted to tell you that you should have proofread your subject line in your message. It really hurt your ethos. If you have any other questions or concerns, feel free to e-mail me back. Thanks. :)"

OMG: I have yet to enter a men's washroom where at least one urinal has been flushed. All that piping isn't there for show, use it!

OMG: It's bad enough that there is never a place to sit in DC, but now Conestoga students are taking up space? Get the eff out of our library!

OMG: Despite the fact that I am all for omg memorabilia, I was so tempted to select "No, I hate everything" in the t-shirt/sticker poll because it's so cynical and sarcastic - and quite possibly true. Damn you UW for making me so jaded.

OMG: My boyfriend made me buy Heavenly Hash ice cream. He left and I can't stop eating it.

OMG: I just spammed two classes of students on UWACE.

OMG: There are a lot of lonely people at this school. If you need to talk to someone you can call the distress line at 519 745-1166 for supportive confidential listening. If you are in crisis you can call the crisis line 519 744-1813 or toll free 1-866-366-4566. These lines are 24 hours a day everyday.

OMG: To the guy who's having a loud conversation at william's about how he keeps screwing up with women: STFU. No one wants to hear about your problems.

OMG: My girlfriend told me she's thinking of breaking up with me but we need to talk first. Why don't you do it already. Like talking would change anything.

OMG: "I'm busy" means you can't put food or anything else in me. So stop asking.

OMG: I tell my vet my cat is a house cat to avoid germs. In real life, I keep him in because if he runs away, that will be the last thing to leave me I can manage to withstand.

OMG: All the complaints on here about the lack of girly girls on campus makes me want to wear a dress everyday. Or curl up and die.

OMG: I hooked up with a guy this past week and his pubic hair was immaculately trimmed to a column. Not to mention his rock hard body. I really appreciate it when men take care of themselves!

OMG: I told my parents I failed my exam and they laughed. Obviously they've given up on me.

OMG: My lab is giving me a big cookie with my name on it for the end of my coop. If they fail me, they are the masters of mixed messages.

OMG: A girl from my high school asks me what I'm going to school for. I tell her I want to be an engineer. She responds "Oh, like a train, right?"

OMG: My decision to come to Waterloo was based entirely on the amount of Asian females here.

OMG: I love the fact that male ejaculation can help prevent prostate cancer. So you always have a reason.

OMG: I was writing an exam in the PAC and realized I left my eraser in my bag. I asked the TA if I could get it out and she said no. I thought it was a joke but she just walked away without turning back. Eventually the prof passed by and he didn't have a problem when I asked. I can't believe someone would actually say no.

OMG: Everytime I run into one of my moms friends, they talk to me about what she's been up to because she keeps updating her status on Facebook.

OMG: After three years, I can no longer deny that it is so much easier to study for finals when I`ve actually been attending lectures.

OMG: I don't get why there is always a ridiculous line outside of that new ice cream place. Even at night.

OMG: I have a bad habit of befriending straight guys I'm attracted too and making a move on them.

OMG: I have decided to model my summer, after 'The Summer of George!'

OMG: My boyfriend picks his nose in public, and I don't mind. It keeps the other girls away.

OMG: My parents just laughed at me. For studying.

OMG: I just saw a cockroach in the girls bathroom in b1.

OMG: Sometimes I wonder what will happen to OMGUW when the creator graduates.

OMG: I have a crush on one of the CS 115 TAs.

OMG: I really hope I get into planning. Especially considering I'm in science right now.

OMG: I randomly heard this during my co-op term in Ottawa.

Girl 1: "Oh my god, is that a new skirt? It's cute!"
Girl 2: "No, it's actually a tube-top, I just use it as a skirt sometimes."
Girl 1: "Ohhh!"

I miss Waterloo girls.

OMG: I wanted to buy a Waterloo flag to hang in my dorm room, and I saw one - your average cheap, nylon, average-sized one - at the UW Shop. It was a hundred fucking dollars.

OMG: My girlfriend would rather read OMG than chat with me.

OMG: When I leave an arts elective and attend my math courses, I experience a form of culture shock.

OMG: I live in Rev. My roommate has moved out. I'm here until Friday. Yes, I DID push the beds together.

OMG: I haven't shaved my legs for a while. They have never been so itchy.

OMG: My 3 year old cousin asked if I liked fish sticks. I wasn't sure how to respond.

OMG: To the douchewads playing basketball outside: STFU. People are still studying for finals, and I can hear you through my ear plugs.

OMG: I've always wondered what would happen if someone had a breakdown in the middle of an exam in the PAC.

OMG: I overheard these girls at the pita factory. Girl 1: "I think I should go to LA and become a Pussycat Doll." Girl 2: "Oh ya you'd be really good at it!" I hope they go to Laurier.

OMG: I just saw a guy outside an engineering building throwing a stick, picking it up and then throwing it again in the opposite direction over and over again. I guess that's what engineering at Waterloo does to you.

OMG: My roommates don't want anything to do with me now after I've declined their last few requests to go out because of exams and my lack of money.

OMG: I don't trust guys at clubs, I don't trust guys who approach me on campus. I just don't know how to find a decent guy!

OMG: Who schedules an exam on Saturday night at 730pm?

OMG: I saw two people making out on the roof of that little shack across the parking lot from Molly Blooms. I was only disgusted long enough to think: that is a brilliant spot!

OMG: I saw girl fart in my exam today, then cover her nose and pretend it was someone else.

OMG: I had sex with my roommate. He's married.

OMG: As a TA, I secretly wish students (male or female) would try to flirt with me. I'd definitely reward them with higher grades.

OMG: I hate people who refuse to take a shit when other people in are in the washroom. When I spot one of these people I made sure to take as long as I can washing my hands and fixing my make up to make them squirm.

OMG: I was opening the door at DC and someone behind me pressed the handicap button and the handle slammed my hand. Come on!

OMG: I just realized I'm in Waterloo, and I'm not in engineering. What the hell am I still doing here?

OMG: Every time I go outside, I smell the sweet scent of Waterloo. Manure and duck shit.

OMG: When did people start using the word fuck? I just saw a 6 year old swearing on his bike.

OMG: I would buy a shirt with the OMG UW logo on it. And wear it. Often.

OMG: I use my webcam as a mirror when I'm in the library.

OMG: Sometimes when I'm mad at my roommate I pee all over his shampoo bottle in the shower.

OMG: I've spent the last 4 days playing frisbee on the BMH green.

OMG: I love seeing a girl's thong in the summer. Bring on the slutty clothes.

OMG: To the guy who wore the funky purple Billabong shorts today in DP: You are gorgeous. I wish I had the courage to talk to you.

OMG: I saw a sign posted on a telephone pole that said some people had found a lost cat around V1. It had a picture of the cat and a description. The cat was an oppossum.

OMG: I feel just a little bit ripped off when I go to fast food places and only get a couple toppings, and I get the same amount of each of my two toppings as the guy who gets every topping. Can't I get an extra slice of tomato in exchange for not making you put on 5 toppings and 3 sauces?

OMG: To the blond girl who works at marble slab, you looked so happy, you must love ice cream too.

OMG: The guy I've been seeing for a month in a half just told me he doesn't think of himself my "boyfriend." Good thing I kept all the numbers I got from the guys I turned down when I thought of him that way.

OMG: I just heard someone having sex in the PAS washrooms. Or maybe the person was just taking a good shit. I haven't had sex in a while thanks to UW. I might have forgotten what people sound like.

OMG: I am considering to walk in to the watcard's office with my girlfriend's watcard and ask them to retake my pic. I'll tell them I had a sex change. According to watcard FAQ, you can ask for a photo retake if the original photo doesn't reflect your appearance.

OMG: I just made a huge pro-cigarette rant in the comments to #1336, but I only smoke like a pack a year.

OMG: I just witnessed a student not do his homework and exercises and then complain about how the professor doesn't teach well enough. Grow up you entitled brat.

OMG: I'm on a desperate hunt for summer work, but am unsuccessful. I check job posting sites incessantly.

OMG: Sometimes I feel like a terrible excuse for a Canadian because I despise the taste of Tim Horton's coffee.

OMG: I'm about to submit final marks. Should I be mean and fail people, or should I be really mean and send them on to the next required course where they'll crash and burn?

OMG: Feeling sad and depressed last month, I walked into the counselling services office in to book an appointment. The only free slot was almost a month later. I left feeling even more dejected than ever. My appointment with the counsellor finally rolled around, and my next appointment is in another month.

OMG: I'm more excited about the warm weather then I am that I just finished my undergrad.

OMG: This term, before every midterm, assignment, and exam, I ended up binge eating all the crap I could find in the house only to throw it back up again. It feels like a short-term relief from stress and anxiety but it doesn't help me study or do the assignments.

OMG: What's with all of these Asian fetishes?

OMG: Instead of studying for todays exam, I drank, smoked up, and had a party with my friends. I went into it with a FML view, basically giving up. I think I just /owned/ that final.

OMG: I just had a breakdown regarding final exams. I really felt the pressure, and didn't know what else to do. So I went into the washroom, turned on the shower, and sat on the bath floor crying, so that my room mates won't hear me crying. I was in the bathroom for an hour. As I walked out of the shower, composed, one of my room mates grunted: "What took you so long showering?"

OMG: You know you are a horrible don when your residence didn't want to say good-bye to you when they moved out.

OMG: Not liking my favourite hockey team is a complete deal-breaker.

OMG: To the people in the silent study room (SLC 3rd floor) who decide to take up a whole table for themselves, fuck you! The tables are meant for 4 people not for you and all your shit! Stop being greedy and let me study.

OMG: Whenever I catch my boyfriend reading OMGUW, I kick him off. He goes to Laurier and I don't feel like he's earned it.

OMG: When I'm studying in DC I like to look for other Bluetooth devices using my phone's "Look for Devices" option. I get happy if there's a name attached.

OMG: I just watched a girl say that she owe's her life to Dr. Phil. I really want to punch something now.

OMG: I feel highly impressed and ashamed of myself when I successfully google where a professor lives.

OMG: I read about the UW experience on this site in lieu of living it. My only friend in Waterloo is my boyfriend who I met on the Internet.

OMG: Are guys intimidated by tall girls? I feel like guys don't come talk to me cause I tower over them.

OMG: I play ultimate on the grad house green. Suck it, losers still studying in DP. You're lucky all we do is hit you on the head with the disc.

OMG: Whenever I see someone wearing Uggs with shorts/skirt, I secretly wonder if they belong at Laurier and just got lost. Seriously, it looks so dumb.

OMG: There should be a rule that exam procters can't wear high heels. Its is incredibly annoying when trying to write a final worth 70% of your final mark.

OMG: To the people who study in libraries with your cellphones turned on, who talk loudly to others and feel the need to distract every other person trying to learn around them. Your a piece of shit and hopefully after you fail your exam you trip on your own shoelaces and everyone laughs at you for being a douche.

OMG: I missed my final exam thinking it was in the afternoon. Now I am screwed screwed screwed.

OMG: I was using StumbleUpon in the library, when this picture of a naked guy came up. I'm pretty sure the girls behind me saw, they gasped.

OMG: I took someone's parking ticket off of their car today. It's too beautiful for shit like that.

OMG: My boyfriend and I are moving to different cities in September. I'm scared we'll break up because of infidelity. It's not him I'm worried about, it's me.

OMG: I spent the whole day watching Indian movies instead of studying, I'm not even Indian.

OMG: I have been using my laptop speakers and my crappy ipod headphones for the last 4 months. I forgot what quality sound is suppose to be like.

OMG: Today is international velociraptor awareness day. Don't be a statistic.

OMG: To the girl eating in the REV caf: How do you not realize that half your ass is literally hanging out of your pants? Do you not feel a slight draft along your exposed crack?

OMG: I really want to apply for grad school. I just went through my transcript. I have one more year left, and sitting on a 68% average. I think I am fucked for grad school, and fucked for life.

OMG: My prof said he procrastinated to write up the final because he's been following OMG UW and FML too much. Unfortunately, he said the questions would have been easier if he had time to write it up instead of slapping it together.

OMG: Thank you so much to the artsie who left his/her frosh leader sweater in SCH. I was walking home from a long night of studying, frozen numb in a t-shirt and a miniskirt. Your forgetfulness saved me. If you want it back, make a comment.

OMG: The most annoying thing that can happen in an exam room is if the clock is behind you or if the clock is dead.

OMG: The elevator at DP is way too fucking slow.

OMG: I heard the biology exam tomorrow got leaked. Of course I never know anyone who has it! My friends are all too righteous. I need to know more devious people.

OMG: To the people who require outlet plugs for their laptops. GO FUCKING EARLIER to get a spot, stop making trip wires. If anyone trips on your cord and breaks your laptop you fucking deserve it!

OMG: I really want to fool around with someone in the PAC showers.

OMG: To the guy I talked to in CIF tonight: I know we're just friends, but could we take it to the next level?

OMG: I've watched 8 hockey games on TV in the past two days. I haven't studied at all.

OMG: It's astonishing that as intelligent as engineers are, they never get it through their thick skulls that if they ever want to do any social activity that isn't a sausage fest, they have to start doing non-engineering related stuff. It's not that difficult.

OMG: I just paid my tuition and residence fees with my co-op earnings. I now have 300 dollars in my back account.

OMG: My long distance boyfriend wants to have an online sex session and I'm terrified.

OMG: I saw a guy with the most amazing mohawk, each strand half a metre long. He had a hard time sitting comfortably on the bus though.

OMG: I've been in DC so long I'm starting to think the Quiet Police are hot.

OMG: Is it bad that I've considered adding UW to my My 5 plan because I call the university so much?

OMG: I want to run over the contruction workers who hold you up on the ring road.

OMG: The janitor in the physics building hit on me last night.

OMG: I took #9 home from Conestoga, but I was daydreaming and forgot to pull and got off at UW. Thinking I'll just take it again in the opposite direction, I fell asleep this time and got back to Conestoga.

OMG: I lent my calculator to a girl in a different class because the battery in hers died mid-exam. I finished my exam before her, and totally forgot to wait around to get my beloved calculator back. The registrar's office e-mailed me today, saying she returned my calculator to them, and I could pick it up there. I'm glad to know that the girl and the proctors went out of their way to find out who I was, and return my calculator. Kind of restores my faith in humanity.

OMG: 1 L3|\|7 /\/\'/ (4L(UL470R 70 4 91RL 1|\| 4 d1PhPh3R3|\|7 (L455 b3(4U53 7|-|3 b4773R'/ 1|\| |-|3R5 d13D /\/\1D-3><4/\/\. 1 Ph1|\|15|-|3D /\/\'/ 3><4/\/\ b3Ph0R3 |-|3R, 4|\|D 7074LL'/ Ph0R907 70 \/\/417 4R0U|\|D 70 937 /\/\'/ b3L0\/3D (4L(UL470R b4(|<. 7|-|3 r39157R4R'5 0PhPh1(3 3-/\/\41L3D /\/\3 70D4'/, 54'/1|\|9 5|-|3 r37UR|\|3D /\/\'/ (4L(UL470R 70 7|-|3/\/\, 4|\|D 1 (0ULD p1(|< 17 UP 7|-|3R3. 1'/\/\ 9L4D 70 |<|\|0\/\/ 7|-|@ 7|-|3 91RL 4|\|D 7|-|3 pR0(70R5 \/\/3|\|7 0U7 0Ph 7|-|31R \/\/4'/ 70 Ph1|\|D 0U7 \/\/|-|0 1 \/\/45, 4|\|D r37UR|\| /\/\'/ (4L(UL470R. |<1|\|D 0Ph r3570R35 /\/\'/ Ph417|-| 1|\| |-|U/\/\4|\|17'/.

OMG: If you don't want to buy cigarettes stop asking for mine, cigarettes are 11 dollars a pack.

OMG: Why do couples insist on making-out in the silent study area?

OMG: I'm so excited to graduate, but I can't bring myself to start my last paper because it means that I'll actually be done. I don't want to grow up yet.

OMG: Best feeling in the world: taking off your bra at the end of the day!

OMG: I wonder if any professors read OMGUW. And if any of them gossip about the submissions about themselves.

OMG: There needs to be maps of all the buildings on campus on the internet. I'm going to waste time looking for my damn exam room instead of studying. Awesome.

OMG: I'm the guy who's gf posted "I'm going to break up with bf tonight." Ladies not only am I sexier than ever but I'm also available. You may proceed to CIF.

OMG: Please don't take a shit in the one person washrooms in the DC by the silent study area. The person after you doesn't want to smell your shit!

OMG: Chivalry is dead ladies. and ladies magazines killed it.

OMG: SJ has some stunning student librarians. Especially the one this afternoon with the red checkered shirt and glasses, simply gorgeous.

OMG: Irresponsible students should not own pets. Pick up your dog's poop when you take it for a walk. Is that so hard?

OMG: It's Thursday morning and I have an exam in a half hour. I'm studying in SJU Library because it's usually very quiet here, yet there's a group of meat-heads on the main floor who won't shut the fuck up.

OMG: If a girl thinks she's pretty, she's concetied. If she thinks she's ugly, she's got low self-esteem. What the hell am I supposed to do?

OMG: I went to my cousin's bridal shower. All of her friends were really fun and nice, and they all met in university and are still besties. This makes me sad, because all my close friends here are guys. Dang it.

OMG: My mom would rather me come home pregnant than come home with a tatoo because "babies aren't forever." I hope she's joking.

OMG: I've found that the more confident someone feels, the less stuff they bring with them to residence. My neighbour's room is overflowing; my boyfriend's room is basically empty.

OMG: This year, I met the first Asian guy that I actually consider hot.

OMG: I hate public displays of affection, but if I don't, my boyfriend feels like I'm rejecting him. I'm not rejecting you, I'm rejecting all the deathstares from people in the cafe!

OMG: The things I hate about other people are really what I hate about myself.

OMG: My boyfriend doesn't know how crazy I am. I manically organize everything: my room, my notes, my money, my time. Microsoft Excel is my drug.

OMG: I love it when girls watch their weight. It means I get to eat the rest of their food.

OMG: I applied to McGill. I got in. I knew I couldn't afford to go. Why the hell am I still remorseful?

OMG: I always feel awkward when I read my facebook wall-to-wall with a friend and realize that I write more posts on their wall then they write on mine.

OMG: Guys are so much more attractive in warm weather.

OMG: The highlight of my summer this year in UW is going to be when Transformers 2 comes out.

OMG: My co-worker just saw me adjust the girls. Fucking tall people.

OMG: I hate it when people use "there", "their", and "they're" incorrectly.

OMG: I am kind of thankful for the virus on my computer because it kept me off the internet and allowed me to study without procrastinating.

OMG: I can grab the fat on my belly. I couldn't in September.

OMG: Has anyone else encountered the creepy old fat man in the sauna at PAC? He's always there, and always staring at other people's junk while pointing his own junk at me.

OMG: On coop my roomie puked on the carpet, and was charged 260$ for the cleaning. It would have taken him 30min to clean. Serves him right, the dick.

OMG: I like my friends in math and engineering, really. But I need to make friends somewhere else because all the parties they throw are goddamned sausagefests.

OMG: I gave up Perez Hilton for Lent.

OMG: This semester has taught me that I really should start going to my classes if I expect to pass my classes. I am officially screwed.

OMG: Exam period has made me a twitter fiend. Good for procrastination, and I know that Soulja Boy's house is super clean for MTV Cribs.

OMG: I am so lonely these days that when I listen to podcasts of classes it makes me feel better.

OMG: The European girls on 5th floor DP tonight have the sexiest accents. Especially the one with the red coat! Too bad she is graduating.

OMG: I'm female, 5"10' and 135 pounds. Is that considered fat? I'm thinking of losing 10 more pounds.

OMG: OMGUW is really popular among staff. I go home and read every one so I can gossip about them with my co-workers during lunch. We need more scandalous information.

OMG: To the girl behind the UW shuttle service desk in the SLC tonight: marry me.

OMG: I was on the TTC and this girl's music was on so loud that I could hear it over my headphones through hers. A lady then tapped me on the shoulder and went, "Can you turn that down?" I got really pissed and went, in the most petulant and loud voice possible, "It's NOT me, it's HER!" Stupid high school bitch shut down her freaking Katy Perry after that. It's too bad I can't get away with that kind of thing at the library.

OMG: I've procrastinated on studying for finals by checking out every single girl that comes off the elevator in DP.

OMG: I had to use a different phone today and I just realized how useless and dependent I've become. I used to be able to remember 20-30 phone numbers easily, now I only remember 6: home, cell of parents and brother, ex's cell, and UW's.

OMG: Today I noticed that mannequins from Asian places are a LOT skinnier than normal mannequins. The Asian mannequins with faces also have really big eyes too, kind of like the Bratz doll.

OMG: I was so bored the other day that I went to all 10 floors of DP. It was pretty interesting, I've never gone past the 3rd floor.

OMG: Whenever I'm driving and come to a stop, I always try to brake so that there's no jolt at the end, not even a little tiny one. I've succeeded about 3-4 times in the past 4 years.

OMG: I have learned so much about UW just from reading OMG UW. I now pass by 'authorized personnel only' doors and wonder if they lead to the service tunnels, think about tea biscuits from Timmies, and avoid DC.

OMG: To the annoying guy on the 9th floor of DP whose cell keeps ringing: set it on vibrate - I'm sick of hearing your LAME ringtone.

OMG: To the loud-ass corner-sitting girls in the REV caf: shut the fuck up.

OMG: When I get bored, I watch the QNac Cameras. It makes me feel like a spy sometimes. It also makes me wonder who's seen me on these same cameras.

OMG: My family came for the convocation. My parents were telling me to go find my friends to take pictures with, I lied saying they either already graduated or are on co-op. The truth is that a single hand can count the no of friends that I have, but I was too ashamed to tell them. Then I suddenly started worrying I won't have pictures to show in a wedding slideshow if I ever get married.

OMG: I hate those bastards who are on the green between DP and RCH playing with a Frisbee in the sun while I have to rot here and study.

OMG: NHL hockey playoffs start tonight and I am probably more excited than most boys are. Could this be the reason I don't have a boyfriend?

OMG: I go on a binge eating spree after every exam. I go to Zehrs and stuff the cart with junk food and fried stuff from the cooked deli section, food that I normally won't eat. Then I go home and devour them all. This is the only thing that's keeping me from severe depression.

OMG: I've been such a good girl for the exam period. Now I have a week till my last one. Gonna have to invite my boyfriend over so I can be bad.

OMG: My man boobs have grown a lot since I stopped doing stuff.

OMG: Every year my birthday falls dead smack in the exam schedule (Today). I have 2 papers to write and a final to study for and I know I am not getting anything done because I just want to get drunk!

OMG: I'm pretty sure I'm the ugly friend of my group. I'm a guy.

OMG: I am hopelessly addicted to The Office, How I Met Your Mother, Flight of the Conchords and Gossip Girl. Instead of studying for my exams, I have been watching every episode from every season. Whoever invented DC++ is both a genius and a jack ass for making it so easy to procrastinate.

OMG: I saw the most gorgeous guy working at 7 11 on king snd university last night. As I was drunk buying an obscene amount of post-bar chips and candy.

OMG: My girlfriend and I went from having sex 4 times a day to 4-5 times a month. Its been 4 years since I started dating her, but I don't think that should be an excuse.

OMG: I was singing 'Dre - Let's get High' in the bathroom at work, thinking it was empty. Someone coughs and I turn to see my boss who came out of one of the stalls.

OMG: I have a habit of sleeping with girls that have boyfriends. Karma is gonna be a bitch.

OMG: I just realized the site runner guy went to my highschool, small world.

OMG: I wish I knew if this thing refreshes automatically so I wouldn't have to mash F5 instead of studying for my exam.

OMG: The biology department equates knowing the course material and plagarism. If I didn't cite it it's because I am capable of independent thought.

OMG: There's someone at my gym that I think is totally hot, would it be wrong if I went up to him and said something?

OMG: Marley and me is the only movie to ever make me cry. I am a 22 year old male.

OMG: I still have this thing for this girl I was sleeping with in first year. But I am so turned off by the fact that she just gets excessively drunk ALL the time.

OMG: I know when you say "I love you" I know you really mean "thank you for the sex".

OMG: I hate exams in PAC.

OMG: I wish my boyfriend didn't have close friends that were girls that he said "I love you" to.

OMG: Quite confirmed I saw a dude take a piss at the drinking fountain yesterday night.

OMG: I just worked up a sweat in my dorm room. I was quickly moving back and forth on my bed attempting to reproduce the sounds of fornication for my neighbors below. This is what I do instead of study.

OMG: Is it sad that I rate girls on the binary system?

OMG: I hate when people limit me on their profile on facebook. If you don't want me to be on your friends list then delete me dammit.

OMG: When listening to music, do the COH test. "Can others hear". This simply means taking out your headphones and if you can still hear the music, chances are others can too. It's fucking annoying.

OMG: I guess poverty isn't the worst thing ever - I'm now too poor to buy cigarettes, so I guess it's doing my health a favour.

OMG: To the guy who was banging the weights against the benchpress machine in CIF tonight: that's not how exercise is supposed to work.

OMG: Dirty dishes go in the sink, not on the fucking kitchen counter.

OMG: I hooked up with my cousin's ex. My cousin is 5 years older than me and has a criminal record.

OMG: I was writing an exam in a small classroom today, and about an hour in, the old man proctor started clipping his nails. Where does UW find these people?

OMG: I am probably going to fail this term.

OMG: I hate the arrogant pricks in math who try to get you down, but the only reason they get by with little or no work is because they are naturally good at math. They don't have a clue what its like to actually work for something.

OMG: Group study is a big fucking crock. People who like group study are either DC "socialites" or are trying to leach off of anyone smarter than they are.

OMG: Why can't I meet a girl who's just as fit-minded as me? Someone to go on a run with or take a class with.

OMG: I identify more closely with the character's on Grey's Anatomy than I do with the people in my building.

OMG: I don't understand why the whole world seems to dislike overweight people.

OMG: I hate on-campus campaign flyers. Especially the ones in bright colours. It's eye spam.

OMG: One of the engineers at my co-op job just got laid off, his whole life is about to change, he is unemployed, he has a family but I already have a job offer for the fall term. I feel terrible.

OMG: My room mate (who I did not choose to live with, but ended up with because of a shitty landlord) doesn't know how to do the following things: take out the garbage, wash dishes, clean her own room (he mom comes down every weekend and cleans it for her), cook, do laundry, contribute to household expenses for cleaning supplies, toilet paper, bathroom soap, etc. She is in bio-med and wants to be a doctor.

OMG: I keep hoping I'm anorexic and don't know it, so that the fat me I see in the mirror is only my brain playing tricks, and that I am actually skinny. Sigh.

OMG: To whoever thought my dance moves at Phil's were sick and thinks I'm gorgeous, come dance with me next time.

OMG: If I ever have to take another polisci class where some dude thinks its funny to refer to the prof as Comrade, I will kill myself/everyone.

OMG: My girlfriend is mean and swears at me way to much. I think this is mean, but others have called it hot. I am confused.

OMG: I'm so bored at co-op that I just spent the entire last hour picking nail polish off my nails. ARGH!

OMG: The Silver Spur is going to close at the beginning of May. Now where will I be able to sing kareoke until 2am?

OMG: To the guy wearing the fluffy unicorn head shrug at Phil's on Sunday - you are mystical and I'd like to probe you one on one.

OMG: I decided to stick myself in a cubicle in DP today and 5 seconds ago this guy sits in front of me with obviously too much cologne. GO SHOWER! I can't study statistics with that putrid smell up my nose.

OMG: The guy that just sat down in the desk in front of me smells like urine.

OMG: Final: 14 questions, all multiple choice. What the fuck. What was he thinking?!

OMG: When I was writing my exam in DC, all of a sudden I remembered the OMGUW about someone having sex in DC.

OMG: I get more wet humping a pillow than with my boyfriend.

OMG: I feel kind of weird that I've only slept with one guy. I'm 22 and we've been together for a couple years, but still one person.

OMG: CASA is ridiculous, and I'm tired of seeing the pompous jackasses with shitty stands, and even worse fashion shows - which really don't highlight asian fashion at all! I expect to see an asian fashion show, not a bunch of tools in boxing shorts showing off their little 130 pound cut bodies. Not impressive.

OMG: I have a crush on you. I hope you feel the way that I do!

OMG: Will you stop telling me you love me? We broke up, I broke up with you. Yes I love you but doesn't it hurt you to know we will never get back together. I've moved on, hell I moved away, though not for good, long enough for us to be finished. I hope you see this.

OMG: My license was suspended. For driving too slowly.

OMG: Ever since I saw the Truman Show, I can't stop thinking this whole world is set up for me.

OMG: My boss is unusually happy around me lately. I think it's because I finish my co-op term in less than two weeks.

OMG: So I finally got around to trying a Tim Horton's tea biscuit today. When I tried it, I thought I realised what the big deal was. Then I found out each one is 250 cal, 9g of fat, and 590mg of sodium. I'm pretty much never having one again.

OMG: I hate people who walk out of exams saying they did terrible and then get 90s.

OMG: I wish that smart-ass guy in my early morning class would just shut up. Truly smart people don't need to show off.

OMG: I was telling this girl that I am such a rebel because I didn't follow the recipe for this salmon I was baking. Now I have food poisoning. Karma is a bitch!

OMG: Since DC became a quiet study zone, all the loud, annoying people have flocked to the 5th floor of DP. What part of "library" implies loud conversations to these people?

OMG: I lost my virginity!

OMG: I'm fucking appalled at all this racist and stereotypical bullshit in Waterloo. I don't fucking understand it at all.

OMG: I see more girls than I did during the term because my finals are all over campus and I'm no longer stuck in the engineering buildings all day. Whoever said exams were bad?

OMG: I've had all day to start writing a huge essay due tomorrow. Haven't started.

OMG: Yes we all know daddy bought your car. Yes we all know you spend your money on upgrades to it. Yes you know how to to tailgate. No you are not a good driver. I constantly contemplate slamming on my brakes everytime some idiot in a BMW or Acura with a body kit rides my ass down university ave just so I can laugh when they have to pay for it all because they rear ended me.

OMG: There's a scary guy walking around with a baseball bat in MC.

OMG: There's a girl in DC wearing a denim bucket hat. I would like to think that it is the same one from Blossom.

OMG: To the guy who brought his laptop to CIF today so he could listen to his music, may I be so forward as to passive-aggressively suggest that you please invest in an mp3 player?

OMG: I studied all day today. The only thing I learned? My msn conversation boxes flash 22 times before staying highlighted.

OMG: To the people behind the counter: you need to stop saying "anything else?" 13 times for a wrap order. Switch it up and smile a little. You're ruining my appetite.

OMG: The other day I went for coffee with a friend after handing in a big essay. I went to grab the fifteen dollars I had in my pocket, but the money was gone. Then it hit me that I might have left it in the book I borrowed from my prof to write the essay, which I handed back to the prof with my essay. Not only did I accidentally bribe my prof, but its the worst bribe ever.

OMG: On my way to get dinner I saw a guy hit a rabbit and it was still barely alive as I drove past. On my way back, he had pulled over, as had another good samaritan, and they were humanely killing it so it didn't suffer anymore. Seriously, you two are amazing, I would not have been able to do that, even though it was the right thing to do.

OMG: I'm graduating from school this year and realized that I don't have any friends.

OMG: I've always slid down the stair railings in DC. Except today I was wearing beige pants. Do you have any idea how hard it is to pick up chicks in DC with a giant shit colored streak down your backside?

OMG: I'm 23 and have never had a boyfriend, and never been kissed? Is that sad or what?

OMG: My professor just made a pass at me.

OMG: I'm moving back in with my parents after graduation, and my biggest concern is whether I'll be able to maintain the frequency of my masturbation.

OMG: Why do you have to be so hot. It kills me every time I turn you down.

OMG: I was in the quiet study cubicles in DC, and a girl behind me sneezed like 10 times. The entire two rows looked up and stared. At me. For saying "Bless you."

OMG: I still don't have a co-op job.

OMG: Everytime I walk through a particular stairwell in EV2, I scratch my head at why there is a doormat next to a small window that only offers a view of an EV1 wall.

OMG: These two girls beside me in DC are laughing, running to their seats from the stairs and constantly getting txts and phone calls AND then one of them had the nerve to tell me to be quiet.

OMG: To all the people who have joined that Facebook group about leaving DC the way it was before the quiet zones, suck it up it's a library not a club I don't care if you have group work to go find another place. This campus is huge and there are tonnes of places for group work.

OMG: To the guy wearing the white jersey last night at Phil's (pretty sure he works at Bomber) - you are gorgeous, and I enjoyed watching you dance up a storm.

OMG: I find it so sad that I find my male professors more attractive than a lot of students on campus.

OMG: Keeping Kosher for Passover in residence has to be one of my most difficult experiences here.

OMG: My professor thinks that "lose" is spelt "loose" which makes her a dumb ass.

OMG: I'd appreciate if you fuckers on UWACE wouldn't message the entire class of 200 about some dumbass question.

OMG: What ever happened to all the deathly allergic peanut children of secondary school? I always think about them when I eat something containing peanuts at desks and cubicles. Am I leaving crumbs of death behind or have they been eradicated in the academic world through some type of natural selection?

OMG: I don't know what was better over Easter weekend; the fact that it seemed like a lot at home changed, or the fact that almost nothing actually has.

OMG: I am single. But I have 6 friend-dates lined up this week with the opposite sex. How did this happen?

OMG: Nothing turns me on more than when the girl pursues me instead of the other way around.

OMG: I feel bad for hating the innocent construction workers near the SLC. I know it's not their fault that I'm getting covered in dust and going deaf from all the noise, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to give them the stink-eye every time I pass.

OMG: This guy I went to high school with has been catching up with all these other high school people on Facebook all afternoon. I've been following their wall to wall's instead of catching up with them myself.

OMG: I can't believe I'm admitting this, but I'm switching from science into arts.

OMG: I've never looked so good, but I cant say the same for my current girlfriend. Dump time?

OMG: I just found out that the guy I've been on crushing on already has a boyfriend. God dammit.

OMG: I have two hours left to learn 25% of my math course.

OMG: I can benchpress over 250, squat over 275 and I can't get a date.

OMG: I never do any of my readings until exam period and I have good enough grades to get into law school. I feel bad for my friends who study hard all the time and can only pull off a 75% average.

OMG: I got more drunk than I have ever been during this exam period.

OMG: I hate any studying or homework that requires online access, because I am absolutely powerless against the thousand of distractions that the Internet offers, such as this website.

OMG: I really regret not making anything happen with some of the cuties I've met in REV this year. Chances are I'll never see most of them again next year.

OMG: Why are the guys' bathrooms beside the SciSoc Office (3rd floor Physics) so much more awesome than the girls' bathroom? The guys get like 5 urinals AND stalls, a round communal sink, and hand dryers. The girls have 2 stalls, and a stack of paper towel that seem to always be already wet because they are not in a dispenser.